


I Found

by angietwist



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe-Modern Setting, Alternate universe -student/teacher, Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dry Humping, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mentor/Protégé, Protective Original Percival Graves, Semi-Slow Burn, Violence, Virgin Credence Barebone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-01-06 22:40:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 28,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12220392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angietwist/pseuds/angietwist
Summary: Credence Barebone has been home-schooled his whole life until child services threaten his adoptive mother and he ends up going to high school for the first time. Feeling alone and out of place, what will happen when the only friend he makes is Mister Graves, his English Teacher?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time ever publishing so it's obviously not perfect. English is also not my first language so please be gentle with me ;)

It was Credence’s first day at his new school, his first normal school. His sisters would not come with him yet but they might if things went well. Ma had accepted to send him to high school because social workers had come by and she was frightened they would take the kids away. She did not really love them, of course, but still she needed them. She needed their submission and she needed someone to believe in what she believed; it was easy to train kids’minds.  
Everyone looked at him strangely, he looked different. His hair was obviously not cut by a professional and his clothes belonged to another decade, or decades, inherited from Ma’s previous husband, who himself had inherited them. He walked in with his head down, embarrassed and frightened. He had never been to school nor had interacted with kids his age who didn’t go to his church.

His first class was English, the only one he was comfortable in taking as he was an avid reader. Of course he wasn’t allowed to read anything Ma didn’t approve of, and she didn’t approve of much, but he had often sneaked in libraries while he was on pamphlet duty.  
He was a bit early so he took a seat close to the window and started reading a book he had borrowed at the school’s library, _About Love_ , a short story by Anton Chekov. A story about two people who shouldn’t have loved each other, but couldn’t help it. He was fond of love stories, and dreamt of one day knowing that kind of love, a burning passion that would make his miserable life worth living. The only person he loved was Modesty but it was a brotherly affection, not the kind of love he found in the books.

The bell rang and he heard people coming into the class, chatting and gossiping. He could of course feel eyes on him but he pretended not to notice, too absorbed in his reading. He then heard a man’s voice greeting the class, a deep raspy voice that made him raise his head in surprise. Credence wasn’t used to men, he had mostly been surrounded by females, and this man was pretty impressive. He was tall, probably in his late thirties and very well dressed, with black pants, a black vest, a grey shirt and a black velvet tie. Credence wished he could look like that, this man seemed to be respected by the students considering they all had quieted down has soon as he had entered the classroom. 

‘So we have a new student I believe ? Credence Barebone ?’ the teacher asked, looking at him. 

The young man nodded silently, his cheeks burning knowing everyone was looking at him. 

‘Hello, I’m Mister Graves. I’ll need to talk to you at the end of the class to explain a few things. Is that alright ?’

’Yes sir’ he answered, not really looking into the older man’s eyes. He still saw the man’s slight smile at the last word and he wondered what had provoked that. 

The class started and they were talking about _Measure by Measure_ , a play by Shakespeare he had never read which meant he didn’t say a word during the whole lecture.  
When the bell rang again signalling the end of the class, Credence slowly packed his bag and waited for the other students to leave so Mister Graves could talk to him.  
The man approached his desk, smiling but impressive, his eyes dark and serious. 

‘Not talkative, right ? I will expect more class participation okay Credence ?’ 

‘Yes sir’ the young man answered, feeling his cheeks burning once more. 

The teacher smiled again and said ‘Very polite, that’s rare from someone your age. I like that. Listen, I have been told that you were home-schooled before so I understand your shyness and I know that it must be hard for you. Just take it one step at a time, but please know that you are safe in this class. Okay ?’

‘Yes Mister Graves. Thank you very much.’ Credence answered, slowly directing his gaze to the teacher. 

‘7 words, whoa, I think I’m finally making you talk’ Graves said with a small chuckle. ‘Let me give you the syllabus so you can buy all the books you’ll need to read.’

‘Buy the books ?’ Credence muttered, fully aware that Ma wouldn’t spare a dime for those filthy, immoral books. 

Mister Graves looked slightly embarrassed. He ran a hand through his dark hair, streaked with silver strands, and thought for a minute.  
‘You know what ? I’m sure I have extra copies you could borrow. But you’ll need the first book as soon as possible since you have a test next week. Uhm, let me think… If I give you my address, do you swear you won’t give it to anyone in this school ?’ 

Credence was taken aback. Why would his teacher give him his address ? It surely wasn’t customary as he didn’t want him to share the information.  
‘Yes sir, I swear. I don’t talk to anyone anyway’ he answered, not trying to ellicit pity but justifying himself in a way, as if he had been accused by the teacher. He was used to accusations. 

‘Okay then, let me write it for you. Come by my house at 6 tonight. I’ll give you my spare books. I’ll also give you my personal notes for the classes you’ve missed.’  
The teacher scribbled his address on a piece of paper and gave it to Credence.  
‘Okay, gotta go. I’ll see you at 6. Have a good day Credence.’ He said, putting his jacket on. He stared at Credence for a minute, a mixture of worry and pity in his eyes. ‘And if you need anything, feel free to come see me.’ the man added before leaving the classroom.

Credence didn't know why, but he felt like smiling for the first time in a while. Maybe high school wouldn't be this bad after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Credence goes to Mister Graves' house and they talk a little bit. One thing's for sure, Graves is his favourite teacher ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's not customary for teachers to invite their students to their houses BUT I've had coffee with one of my teacher in highschool and we wrote letters to each other etc. so I guess sometimes those things happen ^^

The rest of the day wasn’t as promising as English, or at least as promising as Mister Graves. He had left a really good impression on Credence, even though the boy had to remind himself that the man was his teacher and that it was his role to help him. It didn’t mean they would be friends.  
His lack of friends was particularly felt during lunch hour, as Credence had to eat his small sandwich on his own in the cafeteria. Not that he wasn’t used to loneliness, but seeing all those groups of friends made him realize what he was missing out on.  
As soon as he had finished eating, he found an isolated spot under staircases to hide from all the stares and read the Chekov book until his next class. He was enthralled by the story, so short yet so intense and he felt strongly for the man who couldn’t be with the woman he loved. Even though he had never been in love, he knew what it was like to be forced to hide his emotions and it was suffocating. 

His school day ended at 3pm and he rode his bike home, bought in a salesyard by Ma to avoid him socializing more with deprived youths on the bus. He was nervous because he knew Ma would have plenty of questions and she would be even more angry with him than usual. He couldn’t even imagine her reaction when he would tell her about Mister Graves.  
As soon as got closer to the house, he caught a glimpse of bright blonde hair behind the curtains, and he knew Modesty was waiting for him, full of questions about his new experience. He couldn't wait to tell her about his favourite teacher.  
But his adoptive mother intercepted him first. 

‘So how did it go ?’ she looked more nervous than angry, which wasn’t necessarily reassuring. 

’I was okay. Uneventful’ he said, not looking at her. He waited a few seconds and added ‘There is a small inconvenience though, I have a lot of books to read and my English teacher said I could borrow his instead of buying my own but I have to go pick them at his house tonight at 6.’ He raised his arms protectlively, as his years with this woman had taught him to do. But to his surprise Ma didn’t hit him.  
‘Oh. I didn’t think teachers did that. I guess he is trying to be nice. I have a meeting with the Church at 5 :30, I’ll take the girls so you can go see your teacher. Give out a few leaflets on the way will you ? We have a special Assembly this Sunday and I want the whole town to know about it.’  
She almost sounded excited and Credence was a bit taken aback, but reassured. Maybe things were really getting better. 

At 6 o’clock he was knocking on Mister Graves’ door. He had been waiting for 15 minutes, making sure not to be late but he couln’t be early and bother his teacher either so he had waited on a bench nearby, shaking with anticipation.  
The door opened and Mister Graves appeared, his tie had disappeared and his shirt was slightly unbuttoned, which Credence shouldn’t have noticed this quickly. His heart shouldn’t have been beating this fast either. 

‘Hi Credence, come in’

The older man led him to his living room and made him sit on the couch. The house was beautiful, with delicate wooden furniture and a few paintings on the walls. Credence had never seen a house this magnificent, at least from the inside. He had imagined the interiors of the most impressive houses of the city many times and he couldn’t believe he was finally in one of them. 

‘I can see you like my house, I inherited it from my father. Obviously couldn’t afford it with my wages could I ?’ the teacher said with a smile. 

Credence awkwardly nodded, having no idea what Mister Graves was talking about. He had always thought teachers were rich considering all that Ma had told him about the corrupt teachers he would meet at school, serving a political agenda in exchange for money. According to her, everyone was corrupt and he had learned to trust nobody. But he wanted to trust this man. 

‘Credence, you can relax you know. I’m going to get you those books but I need you to tell me you’re okay.’ The teacher added, visibly concerned with Credence’s awkwardness. 

‘I… I am fine. Sorry sir, I didn’t mean to offend you. You are very nice to me. I don’t… I don’t deserve this kindness. I can’t thank you enough.’ Credence answered, his eyes on the ground. 

‘Oh no, don’t apologize. I’ve just noticed you were on your own a lot today and I’m just trying to make sure you’re okay.’

‘I am Sir’ He was telling the truth. Sure he was a bit nervous and embarrassed at his obvious lack of social skills but being here was much better than being home. And realizing that his teacher had taken an interest in him made him feel so special he had to look at the ground again to hide his silly grin. 

The man still looked concerned but didn’t say anything for a few seconds. He then excused himself to go fetch the books. Credence took a closer look at the paintings on the walls and one caught his attention more than the others. It was the painting of a man wearing a beautiful suit, the kind Credence would never wear, slender with ginger hair. He was very handsome and Credence wondered who it was. Maybe it was a celebrity, or a friend of Mister Graves'? The man must have been important enough to be on this wall and Credence was curious to know who it was.  
When he heard footsteps he quickly regained his spot on the couch and his teacher reappeared with the books. When he handed them to Credence, their hands brushed briefly and the younger man started blushing again, not used to physical contact. Of course he was used to Ma’s hands but they were never as soft and gentle as Mister Graves’ had just been. 

’Do you want something to drink ? Tea ? Coffee ? soda ?’ The man asked.  
It was very tempting as Credence had never tasted any of those things. But he couldn’t accept of course, Ma wouldn’t approve. 

‘No thank you very much Sir but I can’t accept.’ He said, blushing. 

‘Oh nonsense, I’m thirsty anyway. Wait a minute, I’ll be back’

With this, he left again and Credence started looking at the books, old and wrinkled, with notes scribbled on the margins. The kind of books he’d see at the library, used and almost alive. He prefered those to the brand new books he could see in the windows of bookstores. Those didn't have a story yet while the ones he was holding now were inhabited by a particular history, Mister Graves' history. As he turned the pages, he could feel a connexion building between him and the man.  
His teacher came back with two sodas and gave him one. As soon as he'd started drinking, a broad smile illuminated his face. It was so good, so different. Everything at home was bland whether it was the food or the drinks, but this was so tasty and he couldn't stop drinking. Mr Graves had probably noticed because he was smiling too. 

‘So Credence, tell me, why were you home-schooled before ?

‘Uhm … my mother doesn’t believe in public education, or private for that matter. She only believes in religious education. She says the Bible contains all the lessons we need to learn to go through life and that the rest was just created by politicians to control the people by corrupting them. She’s a bit… intense.’  
Credence took a breath. That’s the most he had talked in a while, and he didn’t know why he had revealed so much so quickly. Maybe it was the excitement of drinking a soda or maybe it was because Mister Graves inspired confidence.  
The older man was at a loss for words for a while and he looked serious, thoughful. But then he smiled and started talking again, much to the young boy's relief.  
‘Looks like she changed her mind considering you’re here. And what about you ? Are you excited about school ?’

‘Very much Mister Graves.’ Credence said with the broadest smile he’d had on his face in a long time. He truly was excited after his first day, especially after his English class. ‘But my sisters Chastity and Modesty are still home-schooled’ he added, his smile fading.

‘ Well, I hope we can convince your mother to let your sisters join you’ and with those words and a smile, Mister Graves rose to his feet and led Credence to the door. 'I have some tests to mark, so I have to let you go.' The man almost looked sorry when saying that last part but Credence blamed the sugar for his hallucinations, the man obviously couldn't care less. 

‘Thank you so very much Sir. I will take good care of those books I promise.'

‘You’re welcome. That’s nothing really, as long as you don’t tell your classmates about our little secret.’ The man said with a grin. ‘See you tomorrow Credence’

The boy said goodbye, took his bag and left, the wind brushing his face and a strange feeling growing in his stomach. Tomorrow couldn't come sooner. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think. If there's something you'd like me to include in the story feel free to leave your suggestions :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Credence loves English and starts getting more comfortable in class. But one day he shares a bit too much and Mister Graves is worried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 is up! I took a long walk this morning and all I could think about was this story so I started writing in the afternoon. I guess I'm a bit obsessed ;)

When Credence arrived at his house, he realized his mistake. He'd been gone almost two hours and Ma looked furious.  
‘What’s that smell ? Is that sugar ?’ she asked, smelling his breath. She had a very acute sense of smell which had been useful once when young Credence had stolen candies. He’d never stolen anything since then, nor eaten any candies of course. 

‘Sorry, Mister Graves offered me a soda, I didn’t ask but he gave it to me, I didn’t want to be impolite Ma.’ Credence apologized, knowing it wouldn’t be enough. 

‘Upstairs. Now.’ She ordered.  
Credence followed her, knowing perfectly what that meant. He had to pay for the small moments of peace Mister Graves had offered him tonight. But it had been worth it. 

That night the young man couldn’t sleep, his back hurting too much, so he spent the night reading the book they were studying in English class.  
He left early the next morning to leave pamphlets under the windshields of neighbouring cars for Sunday’s assembly.  
The morning went slowly, too slowly. Credence was impatient for Mister Graves’ class, he couldn’t wait to show him he had read the book.  
He ate his lunch on his own again, re-reading passages from the play he deemed important and reading Mister Graves’own notes in the margins. He was so impatient. He’d show him he had been right in trusting him with his books. 

When it was finally time for his English class, Credence sat at his desk and looked up when Mister Graves came in, not staring at the ground anymore. His teacher looked as elegant as he had the day before and Credence couldn’t help thinking he was a handsome man, even though he knew he should be punished for these thoughts. 

‘So can someone explain this famous quote _some rise by sin and some by virtue fall_ ? ’ 

Credence wanted to answer and to please his teacher but wasn’t brave enough to raise his hand. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one who didn’t feel brave enough because Mister Graves’ question was met with silence. He spotted Credence fidgetting on his chair and approached him.

’Credence ? Could you maybe tell us what you think ?’

The boy started blushing, his heart pounding in his chest. But he felt that not answering would be too disrespectful to the man so he tried. 

‘Well… uhm… I think it points to the hypocrisy of Angelo who punishes Claudio for his sins, while he himself lusts after Isabella. Moreover by wanting to be too virtuous, he lacks compassion and compassion is a virtue so his actions are pointless. Angelo is in power and tries to use this position to rape Isabella, thus he rises by sin, while Isabella, by being virtuous and refusing to sin risks getting her brother killed, so she falls by virtue. I think Shakespeare warns his audience against corrupt political systems that pretend to be righteous while using their status to gain more influence and power over the underpriviledged. Moreover, some people like Angelo use virtue as an excuse to hurt other people. They pretend to punish them for their sins and to be virtuous themselves, but really they’re much worse than the ones they punish in the first place.’ 

Credence couldn’t believe he had talked this much. He felt his cheeks burning but he didn’t care. He could see he had sparked his classmates’ interest and he couldn’t help but feel a bit of pride. The last part obviously rang close to home but it felt good to say it out loud, and he somehow felt that Mister Graves knew what, or who, he was referring to.

‘That's interesting Credence, thank you. Anyone would like to add anything, building on what Credence just brilliantly said ?’ Mister Graves winked and smiled at Credence and turned to the rest of the class to collect their reactions. Credence felt happier than ever and for the first time, he allowed himself to hope that maybe one day he would be a teacher too, just like Mister Graves. 

‘Well Credence, I must say I’m pleasantly surprised by your input today. Even though I’m slightly worried, did you read all night ?’ Mister Graves asked at the end of the class. 

‘Oh no sir, don’t worry about me. I started reading after my dinner and the caffeine in the soda made it hard to fall asleep. But I did sleep a bit.’ It wasn’t all a lie, the soda had indeed excited him. But he had obviously read all night as the moment after dinner was reserved for chores and prayers. 

‘Okay then. I hope this isn’t the last time I hear you in class young man’ the teacher said with a smile. 

Credence felt so much joy and warmth everytime Mister Graves smiled at him that he didn’t regret his infraction of last night, even though Ma had punished him severely when she had seen the light in his room in the middle of the night. 

****

* * *

It was Credence’s second week of school and he always looked forward to his English classes. He obviously enjoyed it because he loved reading but there was also his teacher. Mister Graves was definitely his favourite. He always congratulated him when he spoke in class and Credence felt more comfortable with the man than with anyone alse in the world, even Modesty.  
They had started studying several monologues in the play and the teacher had asked them to write their own monologues, reflecting an internal conflict. It didn’t have to have rhymes or iambs or any other specific structure, it just had to be honest and creative. Some had written about the difficult choice between pizza and hot dogs at the cafeteria that day, some about a love triangle, some others about their college choices. Some had used humour, some pathos or sarcasm. Everyone was different and they were all allowed to express themselves in this class so Credence felt comfortable enough to read his own monologue aloud, in front of everyone.

‘The devil on my shoulder  
Tells me to run wild and free,  
But the God in front of me  
Is always lurking, always watching.  
The devil on my shoulder  
Whispers at night, in my ears  
Builds bridges in my dreams  
But I wake up in shame and fear.  
God’s voice is much louder  
It orders, reproaches, mocks  
It builds walls around me  
More solid than the bridges.  
The devil on my shoulder  
Tells me I should be happy  
But God will never let me  
So I obey, quietly, silently.’

His voice was trembling and his paper was shaking. He could feel everyone staring at him and he didn’t know what it meant. He looked at Mister Graves, who seemed pleased but his eyes were dark and sad. Some of his classmates were smiling encouragingly, a few others looked confused or embarrassed and before Graves could say anything, the bell rang and the other kids started packing their stuff and running out the door. But Credence could barely move, still shaken by all that he had shared with the class. 

‘Credence, that was good, a bit dark but good. I especially love the way you depicted the Devil in a positive light while God was a frightening figure, it’s very unusual. But…’ The man paused and Credence held his breath, afraid that his teacher was going to say his monologue was pathetic or something. Mister Graves put a hand on his shoulder as if to comfort him.  
‘Credence, are you okay ? I’m a bit worried about you. You seemed depressed, defeated while reading this.’ He had had said this softly and gently but Credence couldn’t help feeling attacked. 

He started packing his things silently. He couldn’t talk, couldn’t share anymore. Reality hit him hard. He could never leave, he could never abandon Modesty. He had hoped for a better life, but Ma would never let that happen.  
Before Mister Graves could stop him he was in the corridors, running as fast as he could. He took his bike and rode home, ready to tell Ma he didn’t want to go to school anymore.  
When he did, she was suprisingly nice and understanding. She probably thought that Credence had realized she had been right all along about the dangers of school. 

‘Of course school is awful, I told you didn’t I ?’ She said this with a grin, almost mischievous.  
‘But you know you have to go, or we will be in trouble. When the year is over you will graduate and then social services will leave us alone, they will see that I take good care of all of you and that they shouldn’t take you away.’

That night, Credence didn’t have any chores, only prayers. And he could study until 10pm, even though he didn’t want anymore, especially not English. English had made him to hope, and he couldn’t allow that anymore.  
He couldn’t sleep that night, thinking he would have to face Mister Graves. But something worse was happening tomorrow : the class started their swimming lessons and he would have to wear swim briefs in front of the class. Everyone would see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think ;)   
> next chapter might get a little more heated, I hope I can post it soon !


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Credence had a swimming lesson and it doesn't go well. Graves hears about it and wants to talk ... what will happen when they meet at his place again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this one and don't hate me too much ;)

The following day, his English class was a torture. Mister Graves kept looking at him, hoping to see a smile or to have answers. But Credence stared at the ground during the whole hour. When it was finished, he felt his teacher approaching but he stood up before the man could talk and left. The day would be hard enough, he didn’t need his pity.  
P.E was even worse. He tried to hide as long as possible in the locker room, waiting until the other boys had all left before undressing. Removing his shirt hurt, the friction of fabric against his wounded skin was already so painful he couldn’t imagine how excruciating the shower, and then the pool would be. When he left the room, everyone was lining up before jumping into the water and he stood at the end of the line, hoping no one would notice him. But when it was his turn to jump, the first swimmers had already emerged from the pool and he heard gasps when they saw his back. Everyone was whispering and he could feel all the stares, leaving marks in his soul deeper than those Ma's beating had left on his back. He’d gotten used to the burning sensation of her belt on his skin, but he was new to the whole highschool thing and he was slowly getting why she didn’t want him to go. He’d never cared before about what others thought about him - one of the upsides of never spending time with other kids. But since he'd started highschool, he cared a lot, maybe too much. He wanted to fit in and he wanted to feel normal.  
He told the teacher he couldn’t swim, which wasn’t a complete lie, and he went back to the locker room, not even waiting for the man to answer. Mr Abernathy found him on a bench, putting his clothes back on. Credence could see he was embarrassed, he mumbled 'Are you okay Credence?' and proposed to send him to the guidance counselor's office. But the young man said he was fine and made up an excuse that the teacher seemed to believe to explain his wounds and scars.  
Abernathy said he had to keep him until the end of the class so he waited there, alone. When all the boys entered the room, there was an unbearable silence and Credence wanted to cry so hard he barely contained himself. Usually the place was filled with jokes and crude conversations about girls, which Credence found embarrassing, but now no one was even whispering. For the first time since he’d started school, he couldn’t wait to be home. 

On his way to pick up his bike, he heard a familiar voice. 

‘Credence ? Do you have a minute ?’

‘Yes Mister Graves, I do but I must hurry.’  
‘Credence, this isn’t easy to say but I just spoke to Mr Abernathy and he said something was wrong. Could we talk ? Or set up a meeting with the guidance counselor or the nurse ?’ The teacher asked, concern in his voice. 

‘Sorry, I really must go’ and Credence ran to his bike and rode quicker than ever, crying so hard he could barely see the road. 

* * *

  
‘Credence, I got a call from one of your teachers’ Mary Lou had said had soon as he had entered the house. She didn’t sound angry, but still a bit annoyed.  
‘He said you needed to help him with a school event tonight, with another group of students at his house. A certain Mister Graves. Is that so ?’  
Credence didn’t know what to do. If he said yes, he'd obviously be lying but saying no would throw suspicion on Mister Graves and the whole school, and the last thing he wanted was a conflict between them and Ma. 

‘Yes but I said I couldn’t go.’

‘Well, that man can’t take no for an answer. I really needed you tonight but I guess your sisters will be enough.’ 

The young man couldn’t believe he’d have to face Mister Graves again. He wasn’t ready for this conversation. The last thing he wanted was for his teacher to see him as a weak kid or a loser. 

When Credence rang on his teacher’s door that night, he didn’t know what to expect. He was convinced that the man had understood everything but he didn’t know what he would do about it. 

‘Credence, come in’ Graves said, looking serious. 

He led his student to the couch and offered him a hot beverage, apparently a more serious drink than soda, before sitting next to him. He laid a hand on his knee and the boy shivered, even though he was feeling warmer inside. No matter how embarrassed and angry he was, he had to admit he was comfortable with the man, attached to him even. The closest thing he had to a friend. 

‘Credence, let me go straight to the point. I know about the incident at the swimming pool. I know your back is full of bruises and scars. Does your mother beat you ? See I know you told Mr Aberthy you had been ambushed and beaten up by a group of thieves but I don’t believe it. Please tell me the truth, I’m worried.’

The man’s tone was almost pleading and Credence couldn’t stand looking at him. He broke down in tears, ashamed and terrified, and couldn’t stop for a while. His teacher put an arm around him and laid a hand on his head, gently bringing it to his shoulder. He cried for what seemed an eternity. When he finally stopped, he looked up at his teacher who wiped his tears with a thumb while looking straight into his dark eyes.  
Mister Graves was so moved by this boy, who looked both innocent and terrified. In his years as a teacher, he’d never met a young man like Credence. He was so vulnerable, but much more mature than most kids at his age. He had also a remarkable mind and they often shared the same thoughts and to his surprise, Credence sometimes finished his sentences for him which never failed to make him chuckle like a teenager. And recently he’d been looking forward to seeing him at school, which was both thrilling and disturbing. He’d never been so drawn to someone this young before, but Credence was an old soul trapped in a young man’s body.  
They looked at each other for a while, understanding in their eyes, and Mister Graves started caressing Credence’s cheek, his other arm around the boy’s shoulders. 

‘Shhhh don’t worry. I’m here for you, you have nothing to be afraid of. Do you want to explain to me what happened ?’

Credence could barely talk but he thought he could make an effort, he trusted the man in front of him. He trusted him more than anyone. 

‘Okay… I’ll try.’ He said, still sobbing. ‘Ma adopted me when I was 10, for some unexplained reason I had amnesia and didn’t remember anything about my life. I first thought she would be nice, she looked kind and caring. But she’s very religious and any time I would do something wrong, she’d punish me. First the punishments were soft, I would have chores to do, or go to bed without my dinners, or go do church to work with her. But all this became my daily routine and she had to switch to harder punishments so I wouldn’t get used to them. She started beating me when I was 13. She said puberty would corrupt me and that the devil would take possession of me if I didn’t repent. So she made me pray while she was beating me. Obviously I couldn’t go to school as I had to spread the Lord’s word every single day in the streets or at Church and a few weeks ago we got a visit from social services. I thought they had forgotten us all those years but now they were worried because I’m turning 18 in two weeks and there are no records of my schooling, no exams whatsoever. They said that even when you’re homeschooled you have to graduate but since my only schooling has been religious she had to let me go to school or social services wouldn't leave us alone.’ His crying had calmed down, soothed by Mister Graves’ embrace. 

‘But if you’re turning 18 soon, that means you don’t have to live with her anymore, right ?’’ The teacher asked. 

‘I can’t leave my youngest sister, Modesty. She is Ma’s adoptive daughter, which means she can’t come with me if Ma doesn’t agree. And she’ll never let her go, I know it.’

‘Why don’t you tell social services about her abuse ? They would take the three of you away from her!’

‘And where would we go ? I’m not Modesty’s father, I don’t have a job, I still haven’t graduated. They surely wouldn’t let her stay with me.’  
Credence was now getting angry, it was so unfair and he felt helpless. 

Mr Graves was holding back a tear. He couldn’t show any weakness, he needed to comfort Credence but he was heartbroken for the boy. He now realized that this student was stronger than anyone he knew, yet still so fragile in his arms at that moment. 

‘Please promise me you won’t do anything Mister Graves, I need to graduate and find a job before I can do anything about it.’

‘I don’t know if I can do that Credence. I’m your teacher, I’m expected to report things like that.’ 

‘Please promise me, I’m begging you.’ Credence started crying again, and took the man’s hands into his ‘I can’t fail Modesty the way people have always failed me. Please!’ 

It was too much, Mister Graves rose to his feet and paced the living room, breathing hard and apparently thinking, his face more serious than Credence had ever seen it. He looked displeased and the boy regretted telling him, angry with himself for upsetting his teacher. After a few minutes, Graves calmed down and sat next to Credence again. 

’I promise’ the man simply said. 

Even though he'd just cried harder than he'd allowed himself to in a long time, Credence felt safe again. He looked up, only to see how close to him Mister Graves was sitting. They stared at each other for a few seconds, Percival’s hand carressing Credence’s arm softly. Not knowing what he was doing, the boy closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to the older man’s. Graves kissed him back, pressing his chest to Credence’s and holding his head with one hand while the other moved to his thigh. At first the kiss was gentle, almost innocent, but it soon became more urgent and they both opened their lips, letting their tongues explore each other’s mouths. Credence had both hands on the man’s shoulders while one of Graves’ hands was at the nape of his neck, the other one caressing his thigh. It was Credence's first kiss but it felt natural and right, like it was meant to be. Mister Graves' mouth was so hot, and the feeling was incredibly pleasant. He felt his cheeks burning and pulses in his groin signalling that he was getting hard but he didn't care. He'd never belonged anywhere before but now he belonged here, in this man's arms. Their hands were soon all over their bodies, caresses turning into almost agressive touches. It was like everything in the world made sense right now, everything was fine. After a few minutes like this, they stopped to catch their breaths but Credence felt that he needed the man's warmth more than he needed air.  
‘’Please kiss me again _Sir_ ’’ he begged.

At the last word, the older man jerked away and stood up, realizing what he was doing. The boy was his student, he was hurt and scared and was seeking comfort in the only adult he could trust. But an adult, a teacher even, shouldn’t be doing that. Yes Credence was almost 18 but he was still his student and he was so inexperienced. He didn’t even know his first name. 

‘What’s wrong Mister Graves ?’ the boy asked, hurt flashing through his eyes.  
‘Nothing Credence. I mean, you did nothing wrong, I did. You see I’m your teacher, I’m expected to guide you and protect you… not abuse you’ He sounded unsure and embarrassed, but he knew it was the right thing to do.  
‘You’re not… you’re not abusing me. _This_ is abuse’ he said and lifted his shirt to reveal the scars and bruises in his back. There were so many of them, shiny under the light and dark on the boy’s pale skin.

At this sight Graves felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. He fought an urge to kiss them, to somehow make him forget about them.

‘Look Credence, I’m sorry I used this word. But taking advantage of your weakness is a form of abuse. I shouldn’t do that. I’m still your teacher, you’re still my student. I shouldn’t be closer to you than to any of your classmates, even though I want to.’

‘Okay. I understand, but you’re not taking advantage of me… I’m not weak. I wanted this.’  
Credence said, standing up to face the man. ‘What’s your name ? I mean your first name ?’ he added. 

‘Percival.’

‘Percival ? An odd name, like mine’ Credence said with a small smile. 

‘My friends call me Percy. My parents were obsessed with legends and medieval stories so they called me Percival, like the knight… it’s a bit outdated but I guess it fits me since I'm obsessed with outdated books myself’ he said, relaxing a bit. 

‘You see, you could be my knight in shining armor’ Credence added and both men laughed. 

Graves couldn't believe that this young man who'd been through so much was now joking about their inappropriate relationship, handling the situation so much better than himself, a 39 year old man.

‘You’ll have to keep calling me Mister Graves, at least at school, Credence.’ Percival said, getting more serious. 

‘I know. But wait, does that mean I’ll get to see you again outside of school ?’ the young man asked, hopeful. 

‘We’ll see… I’d love that. But on certain conditions. You know we can’t kiss again, alright ?’

Credence nodded, calmer now. He decided it was time to leave, or Ma would get angry. Percival hugged him one last time and they remained like this for a few minutes, knowing it was the last time they could be this close. The older man wanted to help his student so much, to get him out of the nightmare he’d been trapped in for way too long, and more than anything he wanted to be his friend. But he couldn’t, not yet. 

Credence took his time going home, he didn’t want to go back to this dreadful place. Leaving the home of the only person he trusted to go back to the house of the mother who had abused him his whole life was too depressing.  
When he arrived, Ma was waiting for him, obviously prepared to beat him. 

‘You know what time it is Credence ? Do you know how worried I was ? We needed you here and you spent all that time working for the school instead of helping the Church. Come upstairs with me, now.’ She said, threateningly. 

He accepted his beating, knowing he needed punishment for his sins, for the kisses he had shared with another man, for the hardness he had felt and still felt thinking of it. Maybe Mister Graves had been right, maybe he was defiling him after all. But he couldn’t help wanting more. 

* * *

The next day was awkward, considering a lot of students were whispering when Credence walked past them, looking at him with pity. He knew why of course. But somehow, knowing he’d see his favourite teacher later made everything okay even though he knew the man might be distant. But Mister Graves wasn’t distant at all. As soon as he stepped into the classroom, he shot a smile at him and asked if he was okay, not caring that the other kids were looking at them, a bit startled by their friendliness. 

‘Okay, so we've seen the different ways in which Shakespeare played with the notions of vice and virtue to reflect on human nature, society and politics. Can someone explain how Wilde explores these notions in _The Picture of Dorian Gray_ ?’ Graves asked the class, not daring to look at Credence in case he'd feel forced to answer. But to his surprise the young man raised his hand. 

‘The picture, or portrait, allows Dorian to live a life of sin, while remaining a picture of virtue himself. The more he sees the portrait changing with his sins, the less virtue matters to him. There are thus two pictures in this novel, the portrait, a picture of sin and Dorian’s face, a picture of virtue. The novel itself shows how appearances should not be trusted, much like Shakespeare showed us that Angelo couldn’t be trusted even though he represented the law and pretended to be virtuous. If Dorian doesn’t really suffer from this conflict himself, the novel itself is pervaded by this opposition between vice and virtue and it shows how art and beauty can sometimes make us forget reason and moral values. We tend to sympathise with Dorian, because he sort of charms us. We are more sensible to his beauty and taste than to his sins. Does that make sense ?’ Credence finished, a bit red in the face but excited to talk about this book. 

‘You said a lot so we’ll have to go back on some of your points and articulate them a bit more, but yes it does make sense. The reader is indeed like Basil, infatuated with Dorian _even though knowing he shouldn’t be_.’ As Mister Graves stared right into his eyes at the last part, Credence felt like he was implying something else but decided not to read too much into things. The man had made it obvious the day before that he didn’t want the same things than he did. 

Once the class was finished, he heard his teacher say ‘Credence, can I talk to you for a minute ?’ and when all of his classmates had gone, Percival approached his desk. 

‘Credence, are you okay ? After… you know... everything that happened yesterday ? Did your mother say anything when you came home ?’ he asked, worried. 

‘Don’t worry, I’m fine. She was a bit angry but that’s okay.’  
Of course that wasn't true but he didn't want to anger the man again.

‘Good. I was a bit worried you’d feel embarrassed. And I was obviously scared she might say something about you staying so late.’

‘No it’s all good, I swear.’ Credence answered with a smile even though it pained him to lie to the only person he wanted to tell everything to. 

‘Okay, well I’ll see you next week then. Please take care okay ?’ 

‘I’ll be fine. Thank you _Sir_.’’ He answered, winking when he said the last word. Mister Graves chuckled, obviously amused. 

‘Goodbye Credence.’ And then he left, leaving the young man reassured and content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm a monster. Credence has been through so much... but I'm obsessed with angst and slow burn so please be prepared for that :p
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos, it really motivates me to keep going!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor Credence gets a D in maths and his favourite teacher forgets his birthday. But Mister Graves offers to help Credence study and things start looking up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5 is finally up! I was too busy with work to update before today and to be honest I've been reading _Call me by your Name_ these past two days and I couldn't think of anything else. This book ruined me, you should all read it :p

The following week was uneventful but Credence felt content, even cheerful. He was starting to be more comfortable at school, the stares and whispers had almost stopped and he was friendly with a few classmates, even though he was still awkward around people. He felt more alive than he ever had, mostly thanks to his English teacher. He was at ease in his class, he didn’t feel judged. He could speak his mind, even incoherently, and Mister Graves would always help him reformulate, he’d always take the time to explain what he didn’t understand. There was something else too. Sometimes when he lifted his eyes from his notebook, he couldn't believe a man like him was there, standing in front of him, talking with such eloquence and elegance and looking as good as he did. When they shared friendly smiles, when Credence talked about a line in a book and Graves looked proud of him, when they found excuses to talk at the end of the class, Credence felt like he could spend the rest of his life like this, he didn’t need more. All he wanted was to have small precious moments that belonged only to the two of them.  
At home things were surprisingly going better. Ma was very busy with a project at church and wasn’t in the house a lot. When she was, Credence went out if his way to help so she would be off his back, figuratively and literally. His scars were fading slowly and Ma hadn’t hit him since that last time after he’d been to Mister Graves’ house.  
That was why today was so hard. Everything had been going well until Mister Grindelwald had ruined his day and he knew it would get worse as soon as he’d be home. 

‘You got a D in maths ? What did I do to deserve such a stupid, useless child ? I told you you needed to be good at school to get us out of trouble and you bring me a D ? All this reading is getting to your head, I’m telling you. I’m going to get rid of your books.’’ Mary-Lou had looked in his bag of course, as she usually did and had found his maths test. She was furious and he knew his beating was coming. 

‘Please don’t touch the books. You know they’re not mine. Mister Graves will be very unhappy and he’ll probably want to speak to you to pay them back or something.’ He lied, he knew he could tell his teacher the whole truth but he didn’t want him to pity him anymore, he wanted to be his equal. 

‘Well… I guess you’re right. And I can’t hurt you either since you’re going to the swimming pool at school. I wish you didn’t have to go though. You probably look at the girls with lust in your eyes, you filthy boy.’’ Mary-Lou added, always looking for a new reason to humiliate him when she couldn’t hit him. 

‘I swear I don’t. I really don’t Ma. I’m not talking to any girl at school. Can I please go do my homework ? I want to ask my maths teacher to take another test on Monday to make up for this one. I’ll give out leaflets tomorrow and I’ll help with the Assembly on Sunday. Please.’ The boy begged with a low voice, looking down. 

Mary-Lou agreed and he went to his bedroom, opening his maths textbook in case she came in but actually reading a novel for his English class. He needed to impress Mister Graves, to be worthy of his attention. 

* * *

Tuesday was a special day. It was Credence’s birthday. He usually didn’t care because they didn’t celebrate at home, even though Modesty always gave him a drawing she’d make secretly, but today he was turning 18. He could finally leave if he wanted to, not that he would of course, but the possibility gave him a new sense of control. And he thought that maybe Mister Graves would finally see him as an adult. 

Credence was a bit disappointed as his favourite teacher didn’t seem to remember his birthday at all. Of course he wouldn’t remember, he'd told himself that morning, but he still had a faint hope. He could understand though, teachers had better things to remember than their students’ birthdays .  
His hope was renewed when Mister Graves asked to talk to him at the end of the class. 

‘How are you Credence ? Listen, I talked to Mr Grindelwald and he told me about your D and that you wanted to take another test. He sounded concerned, said you’d been struggling with maths a lot. If you want I can help you study tonight. I’m not an algebra genius myself but I think I could handle this. My place at 6 ?’ 

Credence nodded and thanked him. He had indeed forgotten his birthday but he still wanted to spend time with him and that was all that mattered to the young man. But he knew Ma would get angry again, and she would probably not let him go, but it was worth a try.  
He had been pleasantly surprised when she’d said yes. She’d been suspicious at first, thinking that other kids were throwing him a party for his birthday, but then Mister Graves had called to check if Credence was coming and explained to her that he sometimes tutored students outside of school. She hadn’t asked too many questions, not wanting to talk to the man for too long.  
So Credence had gone to his room to get his maths textbook and change. Since he’d started school, he’d grown out his hair a bit. Ma didn’t like it, but it helped make him look more ‘normal’ so she complied. He actually liked his hair longer even if it started to curl at the ends, looking a bit out of control, but he still thought he looked ridiculous compared to kids his age. He didn’t have many clothes to choose from so he picked his nicest tshirt and the only pair of jeans he had, second-hand of course. That would do, it wasn’t a date after all. Not that he’d ever had to dress up for a date before anyway. 

When he knocked on Mister Graves’ door his stomach was full of knots, he hadn’t been there in two weeks and he was excited to see the man in such a private setting. 

‘Credence ! Come in !’ He exclaimed, a huge smile on his face. His teacher looked a bit too cheerful for a maths lesson.  
Graves asked him to stop in the hall and without any explanation covered his eyes with his hands. Then he led him to the living room and uncovered his eyes. Credence couldn’t believe it, his teacher had hung a garland that said _happy birthday_ and he had set a table with drinks, candies and cake. Credence felt tears in his eyes but fought to keep them there. He would not cry tonight, he would look strong. 

‘Happy birthday young man. 18 huh ? It’s a big day !’ the man said cheerfully. 

‘Thank you so much Sir, I can’t believe you did all of this for me’ 

‘Oh it’s not much. I thought that maybe you didn’t celebrate your birthday and I couldn’t allow that. Especially not today, turning 18 is special isn’t it ?’ 

Credence nodded but couldn’t talk, he was overwhelmed. Never in his life had someone made him feel alive the way the man did when he looked at him, talked to him. And now he was celebrating his birthday with him, it was too much. 

‘Close your eyes again. I have something more for you.’ Credence obeyed and felt something being placed in his hands. It had the shape of a book and was covered with wrapping paper. 

‘Open your eyes, and the gift’ his teacher said, with a grin and something else in his eyes. Excitement.  
Credence tore the wrapping paper nervously and discovered a beautiful notebook, with a vintage cover and delicate unlined paper. The kind of notebooks only real writers deserved. 

‘I thought maybe you’d want to write a journal. I’ve noticed how peaceful you look when you write in class. And when you talk about a book you always look so carefree and excited that I thought a journal would help you feel like this anywhere and anytime.’ The man said. 

‘It’s perfect Sir. Thank you so much, I don’t… I don’t deserve this.’ He thought of giving it back but he didn’t want to offend the man who’d been so kind to him. It was also his first proper gift and he just couldn’t let go of it. 

‘Please call me Percival when you’re here okay ? Now let’s have a piece of cake before studying so you don’t have to lie too much to your mother.’ Graves lit the candles and told Credence to blow them and make a wish. 

_I wish Mister Graves could be in my life forever._

They studied for two hours after that, having small breaks to drink soda and eat some cake and candies. 

‘So, Credence tell me ? Is there anything you want to do now that you’re 18 ?’ the teacher asked when they had stopped to stuff their faces. 

‘Uhm, I don’t know. Should I want to do something in particular ?’ 

‘Well, kids your age usually start by having a drink, and by drink I mean booze’ Graves answered, laughing. 

‘I’ve never had alcohol before except a bit of wine at the church. I hated it, mostly for the symbol. Drinking the blood of Christ is gruesome, isn’t it ?’ Credence declared, making a disgusted face. 

‘Well, when you think about it that way… But then again, people are obsessed with the idea of drinking someone else’s blood. Look at all those zombie movies, or vampires. They’re everywhere in novels and on T.V. Maybe you’re a vampire Credence ?’ the man added chuckling. 

‘Yes, you have discovered my secret Mister Graves. I will now have to either kill you or turn you into a vampire.’ The young man said seriously, trying not to giggle.

‘Oh yes, bite me!’ Graves added teasingly. 

Credence's eyes darkened and his teacher realized instantly he’d gone too far. 

‘Uhm sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.’

‘It’s okay Mr Graves, you can joke you know. Not everything has to be serious. And I’m not going to jump on you if that’s what you’re afraid of.’ Credence answered, trying to regain his composure and chase the lust away from his eyes. It was hard being here with him, accepting his gift and falling more for him at every smile or wink without being able to even kiss him. But he didn't want any of it to stop.

They went back to work, both relieved there wasn’t any awkwardness between them. They even kept joking and making fun of each other every time they had the chance. Credence’s cheeks hurt from all the laughing, it was definitely his best birthday. After three hours he decided he’d been too careless and that he should leave, even though he was reluctant to do so.  
Before going, Credence asked to use the bathroom to brush his teeth. He’d brought his toothbrush this time, he wasn’t going to get caught smelling of sugar once again.  
He also slipped his notebook in a hole at the bottom of his bag which allowed it to stay concealed under the inner lining. He promised himself he’d always keep the gift with him, forever. They said goodbye eluctantly, Credence thanked Graves again for the gift and the other man quickly brushed his forearm whispering 'You're welcome' with something in his voice Credence had never heard. Something that sounded like longing.

When he was home, he showed all his notes to Mary-Lou to prove he’d been working hard and justify his three hour absence. She was clearly annoyed but didn’t say anything, much to the boy’s relief.  
Credence had to wait until Mary-Lou had gone to bed to write in his journal, he didn’t want to risk getting caught. He opened it and started writing instantly, he’d been waiting all evening to do this.  
_12/01/16_  
_Today is my birthday. I was born on the first day of my favourite month, December. It’s my favourite because of Christmas and New Year’s Eve. The lights, the choirs and the scents all over the streets make me feel like I’m part of something, like I am celebrating too._  
_I turned 18 today. I don’t feel different, I’m still the same boring, plain and useless Credence I’ve always been.  
Actually no, I do feel different. I feel special because the most special person in the world offered me this journal. I still can’t believe someone like that could ever notice me and deem me worthy of this gift._

_I want to thank you but I have nothing to offer. I can’t even write your name. It’s too precious. I’ll just write this : Thank you P.  
I’m forever yours. _

He couldn’t believe he’d written this but it’d felt so good. He'd needed to talk about his feelings for weeks but he had no one to turn too. Now he had this journal, it'd almost be like he was talking to Graves. Now he was embarrassed, he could only think of how pathetic the man would find him if he’d read this. Or maybe he’d be pleased, perhaps he would see how much they meant to each other and that there were no reasons for them to be apart. They’d spend more time together, having dinner, cuddling, kissing and… No, he couldn’t allow himself to think about anything more. But his body wouldn’t let him stop. He started getting hard as pictures of Mister Graves kept popping in his head. He imagined his body, strong and mature, much more than his own. He imagined the hair on his chest, on his lower abdomen and even lower… He pictured Graves finding his journal and getting angry, which was a huge turn on for him as he’d recently realized. Indeed, he’d been fantasizing about his teacher being furious with him for any reason, a failed test or a paper handed in late, and pushing him against a wall in his classroom to let his frustration out before taking him right there or on his desk.  
But now it was a different story in Credence’s mind. _They were at Graves’ house and he’d found the journal. He'd scolded Credence, told him he shouldn’t write about him but Credence was so aroused he’d started stroking himself, slowly at first, taking his time to tease the older man and see his reaction. Then he’d go harder and quicker and Graves would be so turned on he’d stroke Credence himself before dropping to his knees and sucking him off._ As he was picturing his teacher pleasuring him, Credence had started stroking himself in his bed, trying to muffle the sounds of pleasure that desperately wanted to come out of his mouth. Trying not to utter the man’s name. _Mister Graves. Percival. P._ He was so hard it was almost painful. As he imagined Mister Graves touching himself while bringing him to his climax, Credence lost all control and came in his hand, almost blinded by the pleasure. He didn’t move for a while, couldn’t, lost in thought of the man he cared so much about. He cleaned himself and went to bed, weeping. He was so embarrassed and ashamed, but he was also happy to have finally found happiness and the tears were a mixture of all these feelings. He fell asleep with a smile, realizing he finally had a reason to wake up in the mornings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this one! Let me know what you think :)  
> Thanks to everyone who leaves kudos or comments, it means so much <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Graves prepares an early Christmas dinner for Credence, they drink a bit too much wine, play with whipped cream and things get out of hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I haven't updated in a while. I've been too busy and tired to write lately, but I'll do my best to post more regularly. I know where this story is going, I just need to write it ;)
> 
> If you want to listen to the French song I mention in the story, you can watch the video on youtube. I was obsessed with this singer 14/15 years ago, I hope you like the song :)   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHJoY0oSD_Y

Things were going really well and Credence was happier than he’d ever been. Everyday, he’d write in his journal and hold it close to his heart thinking of the man who gave it to him. He was now hopeful for a better future, he just needed to graduate, find a job and then he could talk to social services and take Modesty away from Ma. Chastity too, but she probably wouldn’t want to stay with him.  
His grades had gotten better, especially in Maths thanks to Mister Graves’ help. They had been studying twice a week and their bond was growing deeper. At first the man had proposed to help him study for his test but after that they hadn't stopped. Credence hoped his teacher just wanted to spend time with him but it was probably his imagination playing tricks on him. They had their routine, they would work a bit, eat and drink (soda of course) and then go back to work again. Of course the work was never completely serious, they were joking a lot and making fun of each other. Credence’s grades had improved but it seemed that Graves himself wasn’t the best at algebra which often triggered laughs from both of them.  
The brakes on Credence's bicycle had broken and Graves had had to drive him home after their study sessions which allowed the young boy to learn more about his teacher’s music taste. He was apparently obsessed with the devil’s music, as Ma would call it, known as rock’n’roll to most people. His taste ranged from Chuck Berry to more modern bands and Credence was enjoying it a lot, it was so different from the music that was played in church.  
As he was getting to know Mister Graves better, he allowed the man to know more about him too. About his fears, insecurities but also the simple things he’d learned to love for lack of anything else. Graves had been touched to know that Credence found nothing more peaceful than the rustle of autumn leaves under one’s feet, that his favourite music was the one played in a restaurant in town, Le Parisien, because he’d spent hours listening to it from outside while being on leaflet duty. He’d even been amused when finding out that Credence was an expert in pastries as he’d been cooking many for Church events for most of his life. They shared the same views of life, all they wanted was peace and quiet, and books. And of course Credence wanted this man above all things.  
That’s why he was so depressed today. It was the last day before the Christmas break and he wouldn’t get to go to school for a while, and the worst was that he wouldn’t see Mister Graves for the whole duration of the break as he was travelling to visit his family.  
But they had one last study session before that and Credence was determined to have a great time and forget the incoming separation.

* * *

‘Come in Credence !’ said Graves, all smiles. Credence was first startled by how hot the man looked : a black velvet jacket with black fitting jeans. But then he couldn’t help giggling when he noticed the shirt the man was wearing under the jacket : a white tee with a smiling Santa Claus and a caption that said ‘’Come sit on Santa’s lap’’.  
‘D’you like my tee ? My sister bought it for me last year and I thought it would make you laugh. Mission accomplished !’ he said cheerfully. 

‘I love it ! I’ve never seen such a… colourful tshirt on you’ Credence answered, still laughing. 

As he stepped into the living room, he noticed his teacher had decorated his house with lights and garlands. There was a huge Christmas tree next to the fireplace and many gifts underneath. Maybe Mister Graves had decided to have his family over for Christmas ? 

‘As you can see by the number of presents I have a big family. I usually don’t decorate my house but I thought I’d make an exception considering you don’t really do those things at home…’ Graves stopped for a while, afraid he’d hurt the young man's feelings but Credence was still smiling. ‘ I put the presents there for the atmosphere, there’s one for you of course but you’ll open it later !’ The man added before Credence had time to protest he didn’t have a gift for him.  
‘I know you’re here for a study session but I thought we could have an early Christmas dinner together ?’

‘Oh, Sir… I mean Percival… thank you for being so thoughtful. I’d love that, yes !’ The boy’s eyes were swelling with tears. His first real Christmas dinner, with the most incredible man he’d ever met. He didn’t feel worthy of this but he couldn’t refuse. 

‘Let’s have dinner then’. They sat across each other at the table decorated with little christmas trees and candles. Knowing Credence wasn’t comfortable with eating meat, Percival had prepared a vegetarian dinner for him. The boy had never eaten such delicious food in his entire life and he was so thankful the man had taken the time to do this for him. The vegetarian roast was so delicious but what surprised Credence the most was that Mister Graves would let him drink alcohol : he’d made mulled wine and the young man drunk a bit more than he could handle. He was still not legally allowed to drink alcohol, not that he’d ever had occasion to anyway, and his body was obviously not used to it. 

‘Sweet Credence, are you okay ? You look flushed !’ The man asked laying a palm on Credence’s burning cheek.

‘Yes, I am. But I think I drank too much wine’ the young man answered, a bit embarrassed. 

‘I think I did too’ his teacher answered and they both chuckled.  
‘Let’s be serious for a second, it’s time for your present. Close your eyes.’ 

Credence closed his eyes and felt the man’s hands on his hips guiding him to the Christmas tree.  
‘Okay, open them. Now find your gift, I know I loved trying to find mine among all the other presents’ 

The young man was relieved he had the occasion to sit on the floor because he was starting to get dizzy and worse than that, he was turned on by Graves’ hands on his hips.  
He spotted a small wrapped box with his name on it, written in the perfect handwriting he now knew perfectly. He took the present and stared at it silently, overwhelmed by the gratitude and the bliss he felt right now. Sometimes he thought he must be dreaming and now was one of those moments. 

‘What’s wrong Credence ? Open it !’ the man urged him, a bit worried by Credence’s silence. 

‘Mist…Percival, thank you so much. Nothing’s wrong I just… I just don’t know why you think I’m worthy of your kindness, because I truly don’t deserve this. I don’t even have a gift for you.’ He said, trying to contain his tears. 

‘Shhhh, don’t worry about it okay.’ Percival sat next to him and put both hands on his shoulders, staring right into Credence’s eyes. He took a breath, obviously thinking about what he was going to say next. ‘Let me confess something okay ? Before you arrived at school I was seriously considering quitting. Life hadn’t been easy on me, I was losing my focus at work, most kids seemed bored with my classes and I didn’t feel motivated anymore. And then you came, asking challenging questions, giving interesting answers to mine. You gave me back my focus, you made me challenge myself to improve my content, not only for you but for all my students. I see so much of myself in you Credence, except I had a rich family and my success only depended on my work. For you, it’s not so easy, you have so much more to think about than just school work. I want to help you succeed, I want to help you get out of this house and most of all I want to help you be… happy. Do you understand now ?’ 

Credence started smiling again. He still couldn’t believe what he was hearing but he didn’t care now, this man wanted to make him happy and that was all that mattered right now.  
He opened the present and found a small object inside the box, an electronic device he’d seen his classmates use. He didn’t really know what it was though. Percival saw his questioning look. 

‘It’s an mp3 player. I put some of my favourite songs on it and there’s also a special playlist for you. Look’  
He turned on the player and showed the said playlist entitled ‘The Parisian’.  
‘I went to that restaurant you told me about and asked them for a playlist. You have earphones inside the box too. Do you want to listen to some songs ?’ 

Credence nodded and they stayed on the floor for some time, listening to the French songs Credence had heard so many times. One of them particularly moved him, the singer didn’t have one of those deep and strong voices he kept hearing everywhere he went, it was very soft and quiet which was surprising for music. It sounded nostalgic and melancholic. He’d heard this song once while sitting in front of the restaurant and it hadn’t left his mind since, he was so happy he could listen to it again. Graves apparently loved it a lot as he had done some research about it. 

‘The guy’s name is Raphaël and the song is about leaving everything behind to travel the world with the woman he loves in a caravan. It pretty much feels like to him nothing is worth holding to anymore and he’d just rather be on the road, enjoying the simple things life can offer.’ He explained to Credence. 

‘I can relate to that. I’ve seen nothing of the world, I wish I could travel and visit different places. I don’t have many material possessions so it wouldn’t be hard to just go. But I can’t, not now at least’ 

‘Well, I hope one day you can do it. Send me a postcard from Paris if you ever go. I’ve been there once and it was beautiful.’ Graves said, smiling softly and stroking Credence’s cheek. The alcohol had taken away some of their restraints and they were sitting really close to each other, their knees and shoulders touching. ‘Do you want some more mulled wine ?  
Credence knew he should say no but he couldn’t help nodding, the alcohol had brought them closer and he didn’t want it to stop. 

They stayed on the floor listening to some music and drinking wine for some time, and it was clear to both of them that they were a bit too touchy but they didn’t care. Graves stood up at some point and held his hand out to help Credence stand up too. When both were on their feet, they were so close it was almost unnatural to stand like this without kissing. They were both staring into the other’s eyes and Graves hand had moved to Credence’s lower back. After a few minutes standing just like this, the older man shook his head, took a deep breath and announced it was time to eat the dessert.  
He went to the kitchen and came back with a plate covered with a tea towel. 

‘Tadaaaaa’ he said and took the towel off. He had made a chocolate cake shaped like a snowflake and covered with icing sugar. He looked quite proud of himself and Credence found it adorable. As the evening progressed he found it harder and harder to fight the urge to kiss the man but now was the most challenging moment. He offered a huge smile instead. 

‘It’s beautiful ! And it looks delicious, I’m impressed !’ 

‘Thank you. I know you’re quite the baker yourself so I had to challenge myself to make something that would impress you’ he answered. 

‘Well that’s a success. Is there anything you can’t do ?’ Credence asked teasingly. He saw the man blushing but he didn’t know if it was because he was drunk or because he was flattered. Surely an older man was used to people flirting with him, if that could be called flirting. 

Graves had added whipped cream on the cake and they ate most of it in a few minutes, it tasted so good. Suddenly Credence seized the bottle of whipped cream and sprayed some on Graves’ nose. The older man pretended to be shocked and took the bottle to spray some on Credence but the younger man had already sprung to his feet and was now running to the other end of the room. Graves chased him for a few minutes before trapping him in a corner. 

‘You’re trapped young man. Do you have anything to say in your defense ?’ he asked laughing. Before Credence could answer, the man’s gaze moved to the ceiling where he had hung some mistletoe, just above the spot where Credence was now standing. The young man saw a change in Graves’ eyes, they were dark now and he looked almost aggressive, dangerous. 

‘What’s wrong Sir ?’ He’d called him Percival all night but the look in the man’s eyes made him feel like calling him by his name wouldn’t be reverent enough.  
The man seemed to hesitate before answering. 

‘You probably don’t know this tradition but on Christmas people hang mistletoe and if you stand under it with someone, you have to kiss that person.’ he said with a low voice. 

Credence freezed, he couldn’t speak or move but he could definitely feel his cheeks burning and his groin hardening. The older man was still holding his wrists from when he’d caught him and he leaned towards him. Credence thought he would kiss him but the man actually licked the whipped cream off his nose. They both giggled but Graves got serious again and pressed his lips against Credence’s. The young man closed his eyes and opened his mouth to welcome the man’s tongue. He felt Percival’s hands moving to his chest and pushing him to the nearest wall where they kissed for a while. Graves’s body was pressed against Credence’s and the young man could feel that he was as turned on as he was. Their bodies were hot, partly because of the wine but mostly because of their arousal. Graves took one of the younger man's legs and lifted it to allow him to bring his body even closer, his other hand at the nape of his neck. Credence was feeling bolder than ever and he moved one of his own hands to his teacher’s ass, groping him like he’d never thought he would. He heard a moan coming from the man’s throat and understood that he was doing something good. He could feel his underwear getting wet and started panicking. What was he doing ? He was going to lose control and embarrass himself in front of Mister Graves. The older man felt the tension coming from him and moved away a bit. 

‘Are you okay Credence ? Do you want me to stop ?’ he asked. 

‘No. Yes… No… I don’t know. It’s just, it’s just that I’m a bit overwhelmed. The present, the dinner, the wine and this… All of this is new to me and it’s a lot to process.’ Credence said, surprised he was being this honest. 

Graves took a step back, looked at him with both worry and tenderness on his face and pulled him into a tight hug. 

‘It’s okay. It’s all good. We both got a bit carried away and the wine didn’t help. I should have been more reasonable, it’s all my fault, you’ve done nothing wrong.’  
Soothed by the man’s voice and carresses, Credence lifted his eyes to the older man’s before kissing him softly, way more shy than before. 

‘No, don’t blame yourself Percival. You’ve been so kind to me, I’ve never been taken care of like that. You’re incredible. I don’t deserve this, or you’ 

‘Don’t be silly. You deserve the world Credence. Now, let’s clean the mess we made with the whipped cream and I’ll drive you back home okay ?’ 

Credence nodded and they both busied themselves with the cleaning. The young man couldn’t help cleaning the dishes in spite of his teacher’s protestations, he wanted to help and he was used to it anyway. It was the least he could do, and he wanted to do so much. 

They were both pretty silent in the car, they had sobered up and were a bit embarrassed by how easily things had gotten out of hands. At some point, Graves couldn’t handle the silence and started singing along to the song that was playing. At first he was almost whispering but he ended up screaming from the top of his lungs  
‘Ooooohoooo livin’ on a prayer… Credence this one’s for you !’ he said and both burst out laughing. They giggled and sung for the rest of the drive, easing back into their usual familiarity. Graves turned off the music when he approached Credence’s house fearing Mary Lou would hear it but there were no lights inside. 

‘Ma is probably still at the Church. She’s been coming home at 11 or even midnight every weekend recently. She’s working on a special event but she won’t tell us what it is... Anyway, thank you so much for tonight. I had an incredible time.’ As the young man said this, he felt knots in his stomach. He was so sad to go home and to say goodbye for at least a week. He would miss him so much and that scared him. 

‘Credence, I want you to have a spare key to my house. Please use it whenever you need it. You can pretend I asked you to feed my cat.’

‘But you don’t have a cat!’ 

‘No one needs to know. Take it. I’ll see you soon, please take care of yourself okay ?’ 

The young man took the key and Graves wrapped his hand around his. They remained like this for a while, silent, almost solemn. They heard some noise in the street and Graves took his hand away. Credence smiled, said goodbye and got out of the car. When he was at the door, he turned around to wave at his teacher who was looking at him and waved back before driving away. The sight brought tears to the young man's eyes. He got inside the desert house, ran to his room, threw himself on the bed and started crying. He was in love, so in love it was hurting. Was being in love always this scary ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, tell me what you think :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas break sucks but Credence finally gets the chance to go to Graves' house. He finds a letter that changes the way he sees their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Graves in this chapter but he's still there somehow ;) hope you like it!

Christmas break was pure torture. Not only was he stuck at home or at church most of the time but he also missed Mister Graves terribly. It was the longest they’d spent without seeing each other since school had started and he was missing the man even more than he’d anticipated. At least he had his journal and mp3 player even though he had to hide them well whenever Ma was home.  
He was listening to that one French song, Caravane, on repeat and it brought back memories he hoped he’d never forget : the man’s knee touching his, his shoulder rubbing against his own, his caresses, his smiles, his smell… and the passionate kiss they’d shared that night. He tried not to think about it too much, especially during the day, as it brought dirty thoughts and it’d be hard to resist touching himself. 

He hadn’t had time to go to Mr Graves’ house considering Ma kept him busy with leaflets to give out, chores and baking to do and it made him sad. He had hoped spending Christmas night there but he had been forced to go to the Christmas mass. The break was almost over now and he had more occasions to go but he couldn’t pretend he had to feed the cat, Ma would wonder why he hadn’t gone there before.  
He didn’t know exactly when Mister Graves would be back, he’d told him he would spend New Year’s Eve with friends but hadn’t decided yet when he’d come home. As Credence didn’t have a mobile phone, they had no way of keeping in touch and the young man kept imagining things. Maybe the distance would make him realise that the kiss was a mistake, maybe he’d meet another man, or woman, or maybe he would finally understand that he was too good for Credence. The last scenario was the one he feared the most.  
On December 30 Ma asked him to give out leaflets in prevention for New Year’s Eve. They were aimed at scaring people with slogans about how partying would send you to hell. It was a very busy period for them, trying to get people to come celebrate the birth of Jesus and then trying to get people to come pray instead of partying. But the good thing about today was that he’d be outside all day, and she wouldn’t know if he went to Graves’ house. 

He had repaired the brakes on his bike thanks to a Church yard sale, and that morning he rode as fast as he could to go to his favourite place. When he got there, he felt overwhelmed with a mixture of grief and joy. He turned on the light of the living room and noticed that all the presents at the bottom of the tree were gone, but there was an envelope. He got closer and saw his name written on it. He took it with shaking hands, opened it and found a letter in Percival’s handwriting.  
_Dear Credence,_  
_I don’t know when you will find this letter, if you find it at all. But I wanted to wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year, even though I’ll see you soon enough to wish this to you in person. I know we lost control the last time we met and it was inappropriate…_  
Credence stopped reading, his heart was racing and his eyes were swelling with tears. He knew the man would regret it but it still hurt to have the confirmation. He started reading again though, too anxious to know what else the man had to say.  
_…but we don’t have to be ashamed. I know I’m not supposed to do that as I’m your teacher but you’re 18 and more mature than kids your age. You must think I’m making excuses for myself, and I am in a way, but I don’t want you to see me as some sort of predatory old man who wants to use younger men. I don’t see you as a child, I respect you and care for you. Your opinion means a lot to me and I really hope you don’t think too hard of me. If things were different we’d be able to spend more time together, be friends, or even more… But right now I’m still your teacher and I’m expected to follow a certain conduct. The law says I have some sort of authority over you and that a relationship with you would be unbalanced because of this authority. I don’t necessarily believe that, but it’s true that I am more experienced than you and I feel like maybe I should let you make your own experiences so we can be 'equals'. At least that would be the right thing to do, not necessarily what I want to do. But I digress. All I want is for you to be happy and I can only hope that nothing I have done has offended or hurt you. I hope you can forgive me for not being the rolemodel I should be, I’ll make it up to you when I’m back._  
_I am truly looking forward to seeing you again,_  
_Love._  
_Percival_

Credence couldn’t believe what he had just read. The most wonderful, smart and handsome man he’d ever met cared about what he, an insignificant boy with no experience of life and no persnality, thought. He was sobbing on the floor, holding the letter close to his heart, remembering their Christmas dinner and the beautiful intimate moments they’d shared. There was something strong between them, he’d known it for a while but the realization that Percival cared for him came as a relief. He wanted to tell the man there was nothing to forget, that he didn’t care he had more experience, that he’d let him use him if he wanted… He couldn’t say that last part of course, but he would mean it with his heart and soul, and his body too. The boy was a mess, crying with gratitude but also getting aroused by the thought of the man he loved teaching him new things he couldn’t teach him at school. He knew he shouldn’t think of such things, that it was a sin, but he couldn’t help it.  
He was getting hard thinking of Percival being here with him, kissing the tears away, holding him, touching him like last time. He wondered whether or not it would be creepy to touch himself here, in this house. He was on his own for once but he felt that maybe it would be disrespectful. He stood up to drink cold water thinking it might help him cool down a bit. But then he had a better idea : he could take a cold shower. Surely his teacher wouldn’t mind it and it would really help. He started on his way to the bathroom and stopped in the corridor when he noticed a picture on the wall he’d never noticed before. It was a photograph of Percival with the ginger man who was on the painting in the living room, another ginger man he recognized as Newt Scamander, the school’s guidance counselor, and a tall woman with short brown hair. They all looked friendly and were smiling mischievously, like they’d been up to something before the picture was taken. Credence started feeling envious, he wished he could have a group of friends like this or be part of this group of friends in particular. He noticed how sexy his teacher looked on this picture, he had a beard and his hair was longer. He was wearing a denim shirt and jeans. He looked younger and more relaxed and Credence couldn’t help wanting to know this version of him, even though he loved the more polished version he’d seen in class. The one thing that didn’t change was his charisma and beauty : the man drew attention to himself even though he didn’t do anything special. Credence was getting harder looking at the picture and hurried up. He took his clothes off on his way and rushed to the shower as soon as he got to the bathroom. The water was pretty cold but after a few minutes he was still painfully hard and he knew he had to do something about it. He adjusted the temperature of the water and started caressing himself in the direction of his groin, thinking his teacher was right there with him. He gave his cock a few strokes and ideas of Graves behind him, his erection hard against his back, flew to his mind. His strokes were more urgent now as he imagined Percival’s hand reaching for his cock from behind and doing it for him. It didn’t take long after that to climax, he’d been wanting to do this for a few days and it came almost as a relief.  
But with the release came the shame and he soon couldn’t believe he had done something like this. He cleaned himself up, put his clothes back on and rushed to the living room where his bag still was. He took out his notebook and started scribbling frenzily.  
_I’m at your house_  
_Alone and lost in lust_  
_Drowning in disgust_  
_The fresh wounds_  
_Of fear and shame_  
_Burn my skin with blame._  
_Come back and heal my skin_  
_Make it pure, make me clean._

He stopped writing, noticing his tears falling on the paper and mixing with the ink, creating black stains that ironically reflected the way he felt : gross and dirty.  
He decided to go, he didn’t feel worthy of this place right now. He didn’t know how he was going to deal with all his conflicting feelings, his desires and his fears. All he knew was that he couldn’t wait to see Mister Graves again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for the kudos and comments, they bring a smile to my face :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percival goes home after New year's Eve and calls Credence to invite him over. It's time they had a conversation ^^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! I'm trying to update more regularly but work is keeping me too busy :/

On January 1st he heard the phone ringing and since nobody was home he had to answer. He hated answering the phone because it usually was someone from the Church calling and they’d ask him too many questions about school before criticising every aspect he mentioned. But if he didn’t answer and Ma found out he’d be punished so he had no choice. He rushed to the phone and answered panting ‘Barebone house, what can I do for you ?’ he’d gotten used to answering quite formally like he’d been taught.  
He heard someone clearing their throat and his heart started pounding in his chest. 

‘Good morning Credence, it’s Percival. Happy New Year ! How have you been ?’ The man sounded stressed out or uncomfortable, Credence couldn’t tell, but he knew the man wasn’t his usual self. 

‘I’m good thanks. Happy New year to you to Mister Graves’ he said, trying to hide the excitement in his voice.  
He heard the man chuckle and giving a sigh, almost as if in relief. 

‘How many times have I told you to call me Percival ?’ the man asked amused. ‘Anyway, I’m coming back tomorrow and I was wondering if you wanted to come over… to study. Maybe it’ll help you get back on track before school starts over.’ 

‘Oh, yes, yes of course. I just need to ask Ma if I can. What time do you want me to come ?’ the young man asked, a bit nervous at the idea of going back there after what he’d done. 

‘5 or 6, I’ll make dinner. Uhm… did you… did you come by during the break ?’ The man asked, uncomfortable again. 

‘Yes, I did. A few days ago. I found your letter… thank you so much. It meant a lot !’ The younger man answered, trying to sound sure of himself. The man sighed again and Credence was sure it was relief this time. 

‘You’re welcome. I was scared it’d make you uncomfortable or something. I’m happy it didn’t. I need to go, but I’ll see you tomorrow then. Call me if you can’t make it okay ?’

‘Yes okay… see you tomorrow’ he was about to hang up when he heard the man’s voice again 

‘Credence ? I’m excited to see you ! I hope you are too !’ the man sounded hesitant.

‘I can’t wait Percival. I just can’t.’ he answered, the smile discernable in his voice. 

‘Good. I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a good day Credence.’ 

They both hung up and Credence rushed back to his bedroom to pick an outfit. Along with his new brakes, he’d bought new clothes at the Church’s charity yard sale. He had spent the whole day selling some of his old things to be able to buy them, and Ma had let him only because he’d told her the guidance counsellor had been worried about the state of his clothes. She didn’t like what he’d bought, a pair of black jeans, three shirts and a few plain loose tshirts, but she knew he would be less noticeable at school in those. 

He didn’t have much to choose from but he hoped his teacher would notice the change. He decided to wear a charcoal denim shirt with his black jeans and a white tshirt underneath. He tried to arrange his hair, which he hadn’t cut in a while and was now starting to get out of control, so it wouldn’t hide his eyes. He knew he still looked weird and unattractive but that was the best he could do now. And considering Mr Graves’ letter, he didn’t need to be attractive, nothing could happen between them again. So why was he so nervous ? 

****

* * *

When he knocked on the door the day after, the man opened it immediately almost as if he’d been waiting by the door. But Credence thought he was probably making things up, why would Percival be so eager to see him ? As soon as he saw Credence, the man’s smile vanished and was replaced by a serious expression the boy couldn’t decipher as Mr Graves’ was scanning him from his head to his toes. 

‘Credence, you look amazing in this outfit. Is that new ?’ he asked. 

‘Yes, it is. I made money at a charity event at Church and was able to buy this.’ He saw pity on the man’s face and decided not to tell him his new clothes were secondhand. 

‘Well, you look dashing. I’m happy to see you. Please take off your coat so I can admire your entire outfit.’ He said with a smile.  
Credence did as he was told and he could see the man’s eyes darken, exactly how they had when they were standing under the mistletoe. It was hard not to imagine things when the man was sending signals like this. 

‘You’re looking good too Sir.’ He answered shyly. 

‘Thanks young man. Please come sit with me on the couch, we need to talk.’ 

Credence started worrying, he knew they would have to talk about that last meeting but he’d hoped the man had forgotten about it or would at least be too embarrassed to have this conversation. But of course he wasn’t, he was an adult and adults didn’t avoid conversations because they were too embarrassed. 

‘Please relax Credence, I can see you’re tense but you have nothing to be worried about. I just want to make sure we’re okay. I would totally understand if you wanted to keep your distances after what happened last time. But I hope my letter reassured you in that I don’t want to use you, on the contrary I want to protect you’ Graves stopped, noticing Credence’s obvious distress. The younger man was indeed red in the face and fidgeting, his head low. ‘Are you okay ? Do you want a drink ?’  
At that Credence started shaking, holding back his tears and staring at the ground. Graves put one arm around him, bringing him closer.

‘What’s wrong Credence ? Did I say anything…’

‘No, you didn’t say anything wrong’ Credence interrupted him. ‘It’s just… you’re so good to me. Always so good. I don’t deserve this. And thinking that you regret … that you regret what happened… it hurts because it was the best night of my life .’ He finally lifted his eyes up to stare into the man’s and saw a mixture of concern and relief on his face. 

‘My dear boy, I don’t regret it, I’m sorry if that’s what you believe. I should regret it, I know I should but I can’t. It’s just that I’m your teacher, I should be…’

Credence didn’t let him finish, he pressed his lips against the man's, surprised by his own boldness. Seeing Mr Graves so unsure was more than he could bear and he thought kissing him would fix it. They both parted their lips and soon their tongues were in each other’s mouths while their hands were now groping whatever was closest : shoulders, knees, necks.  
After a few minutes, Graves parted from Credence, out of breath and his lips swollen. 

‘That’s a good way to start the new year don’t you think ?’ he asked with a chuckle.  
Credence laughed and Percival let out a sigh. ‘As much as I like doing this, you know we can’t keep doing that right ?’ He could see the disappointment pass in his students’ eyes but he knew it was the right thing to do and hoped the younger man understood. 

‘Yes, I know that. I just couldn’t help it.’ Credence hesitated a few seconds before adding ‘I missed you’ 

‘Oh, I missed you too you know. I was happy to see my family and friends but I couldn’t keep you out of my mind. I kept wondering how you were doing, if you were having a good Christmas… Did you ?’ 

‘Well, it was my best one considering I had your presents to keep me company and bring me some joy. But I didn’t do much on Christmas apart from going to the Mass.’ 

‘I’m sorry to hear that. I wish I’d been there for you. You deserve so much more than what you have now. But you’ll graduate soon and things will finally get better.’ the man replied with hope in his voice. They remained silent for a few minutes, both contemplating the life they could have if things went well.  
‘Now, let’s have dinner and then we can take a look at your homework if you want’ he spoke calmly, breaking the silence. 

‘I’d love that thank you.’

The entire evening was better than Credence had imagined. They were so comfortable with each other, they talked about their holidays and all the work they had to do, they couldn’t help joking and making fun of each other, unable to stay too far from each other. Graves’ hands kept brushing Credence’s fingers, or his thighs, his back… it was hard for them to resist touching the other’s body. They felt connected and it was growing deeper every time they met.  
Credence’s homework was left pretty much untouched but he didn’t care, he’d done most of it anyway and knew he wasn’t there for that, not really.  
When both realized it was getting late, Percival proposed to take Credence home, they could put his bike in his trunk. 

****

* * *

The car ride was as animated as usual. It always marked the end of the evening so they made sure to make the most of it. When Graves parked in front of Credence’s house, he got serious instantly and the younger man couldn’t help worrying at this sudden change. 

‘Credence, before you go I need to say something.’ The man laid one hand on the younger man’s knee, and Credence didn’t know if this gesture was meant to reassure him or prevent him from getting agitated after whatever he'd say. ‘I know we’re not doing anything wrong but we will have to be very careful at school. We both agreed not to kiss again but there’s obviously more to it : no more touching, no more smiles or inside jokes, we’ll have to have a normal teacher/student relationship. Do you understand ?’ 

‘Of course I do. I don’t want to put your career in jeopardy Percival, I couldn’t forgive myself. But it’s hard, I feel closer to you than to anyone else.’ The younger man said, looking down at the last part. 

‘I know. I feel close to you too, you know that. But as long as you’re my student we’ll have to adopt a normal behaviour. It’s only a few more months before you graduate, after that we can…’ he didn’t finish his sentence, as if he was about to reveal a secret and had stopped before it was too late. ‘Anyway, you can still come once or twice a week to study. You could use my house as a library you know, if working at your house is too difficult. But at school we’ll have to watch ourselves. I’m sorry I have to put you through this. I feel so selfish asking you this considering I’m the one who’s being inappropriate here, but I need to think about both our futures.’ 

‘I understand Percival, I do. But you’re not more inappropriate than I am. I know you think it’s okay for me to feel this way about you because students often have a crush on their teachers, but it’s not like that. I don’t see you as a just a teacher. I surely don’t feel this way about Mr Grindelwald.’ He made a disgusted face and he thought he saw Percival’s smile turn to embarrassment, but then he chuckled so he thought he’d been interpreting things again.  
‘You are my friend, or I hope you are. I know you can’t be but we can’t help certain things. I’m not an expert in social interactions, but this I know.’ 

Mr Graves’ discomfort and worry were replaced by pride, Credence was so sure of himself right now, he didn’t even look scared anymore. He could see him becoming a man before his eyes and he was so happy he'd played a role in that. 

‘Ok young man. Thanks for making me feel less creepy, I’d really hate to gross you out the way a certain teacher does.’ They both laughed and Credence took Percival’s hand, as if to show him that he was definitely not creeped out. Percival realised that if he stayed longer in the car, he’d end up kissing his student and he really couldn’t do that again. ‘Let’s go to bed’ he said and he saw Credence giggle again ‘In seperate beds of course Credence’ the man added with a playful smile. Why couldn’t he help flirting with the young man ? He knew he was encourageing him but he couldn’t help it.  
‘I’ll see you at school in two days, okay ? Have a good night.’ He brushed Credence’s face with a few fingers as he said the last part, one last touch before becoming almost strangers again. 

‘Thanks for tonight Percival. I’ll see you soon’ 

The young man left the car and Graves couldn’t help staring at his beautiful body, complimented by his new clothes. He was going to have a hard time not staring at school if the boy wore these jeans too often. Credence turned around at the door and waved at him before entering the house, dread in his eyes. Percival knew what his precious boy dreaded and realised he'd have to do something about it. Soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual feel free to tell me what you think!   
> I promise things will get better, I'm just a sucker for slow burn and angst : P


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Credence gets teased by a classmate during English. What will happen when Graves notices his favourite student chatting in class ?

It was a cold Tuesday morning at the end of January and Credence was daydreaming in class. He usually was pretty focused during English, considering how interesting Graves made the subject, but today he was particularly mesmerized by the man’s handsomeness. They’d been keeping their distances as promised but both knew it was all pretence. They hadn’t kissed since that day after New Year’s Eve but the way they smiled at each other or finished the other’s sentences betrayed what they could not show physically. And Credence had realised that now that he couldn’t touch the man anymore, it was harder not to fantasize about it… all the time… especially in class. There was something sexy about having this secret with this man and looking at him in a way no other student could look. He knew half the girls in the class harboured a crush on him, and probably a few other boys too, but none of them knew the way his lips felt or how soft his big hands were. Oh how he missed that. As he was starting to get turned on he felt a soft slap on his forearm. 

‘Ground control to major Tom ! Credence, you’re staring and drooling! Are your pants wet yet?’ The boy who had whispered this with a laugh was Rupert, one of his classmates and only friends at school.   
Credence liked him a lot, he was funny and popular and it was nice to have a friend like him. Everyone had become so much nicer to him since he and Rup’ had become friends. 

‘What ? What are you talking about ?’ Credence answered, his cheeks getting so red he had to look down. 

‘Oh come on dude, I know you have the hots for Mister Graves. Honestly we all do, he’s pretty good-looking for a guy his age. And he’s been way more interesting these past weeks, always cracking jokes and listening to us more patiently. And well, we all know you’re his favourite student, I’m a bit jealous to be honest.’ The boy said with a chuckle. 

‘Jealous ? Because I’m Mr Graves’ favourite student ?’ he said and noticed Rupert raising his eyebrow and giving him one of his famous cheeky smiles.   
‘I mean I’m not his favourite student. But even if I was, you shouldn’t be jealous, he likes you a lot too. And you’re every other teacher’s favourite anyway’ he answered with a playful grin to make it look like he was way more relaxed than he actually was. 

‘You’re totally his fav Credence ! It’s obvious but you’re too busy staring at his butt to even notice how he always looks expectantly at you when he asks a question’ he answered laughing. 

‘What ? You’re crazy ! I’m not…’ as he was trying not to die of embarassment he felt Graves steps coming closer and when he heard the man’s voice he felt like the gates of hell had just opened in front of him. 

‘Well boys, are we bothering you ? Would you like us to leave you alone while we go somewhere else to… you know, study ?!’ he sounded really irritated and the disappointment in his eyes was more than what Credence could handle. 

‘Sorry Sir, it won’t happen again’ he murmured, looking to the ground hoping it would open and swallow him whole. 

‘It’s my fault sir. I was distracting him with my irresistible sense of humour’ the boy answered, his tone almost daring.   
Mr Graves usually enjoyed joking with his students but this time he looked so pissed off the boy’s grin vanished. 

‘Well, I hope that won’t happen again or you’ll be telling jokes in detention’ he snapped and the whole class who’d been giggling seconds before now went silent. They’d been used to Graves being quite serious and uptight but he’d been more relaxed since Credence had arrived, not that they’d made the connexion between cause and effect. They just knew that the man had been way cooler these past months, but it had apparently ended that day. 

When the bell finally rang, Credence packed his stuff as fast as he could, he just couldn’t face Graves now, he was too embarrassed. When he got up, Rupert grabbed his arm and said ‘Listen Credence, I’m sorry. I didn’t know he was going to react that way. I guess whoever he was screwing dumped him. Anyways I just wanted to know if you wanted to hang out after school today ?’ 

‘You want to hang out with me ?’ Credence asked, startled. He knew the boy liked him but not to the point of seeing him outside of school. 

‘Yes dummy. Isn’t that obvious ? When I talked about being jealous, I meant I was jealous of the way you stared at Graves… I wish you stared at me like this too.’ He sounded shy all of a sudden and Credence felt his cheeks burn. He couldn’t believe what was happening, Rupert could have anyone he wanted so why him ? But it all made sense now. The smiles, the eye contacts, the excuses to talk to him in the corridors and in class… How bad he felt now ! He’d never turned down anyone before and didn’t know how to do that, especially to one of his only friends. 

‘Oh Rup’, I’m… I’m sorry but I can’t… I’m not…’ he said, shaking and unable to look in the boy’s eyes. But before he could finish his sentence he was interrupted by Percival’s deep voice :

‘Well, I see you can’t stop chatting in my classroom boys. Could you please finish your conversation outside as I’d like to teach my next class ?’ 

‘I get it, you don’t have to explain’ Rupert said, ignoring Graves, and he stormed out of the room leaving Credence speechless and more embarrassed than ever.   
Percival looked at the scene with surprise in his eyes and, noticing the students waiting outside, waved Credence in the direction of the door. 

‘Look, why don’t you come back at lunch time okay ? So you can explain what just happened’ He still sounded irritated but less angry than before.

‘Okay, I will. Thanks Mr Graves’ Credence rushed out the door and ran to the closest bathroom to cry privately. Had he just upset his friend and the man he loved ? He couldn’t believe how silly he’d been to think that things would go his way. He didn’t deserve friends and he didn’t know why he’d hoped he could finally have them. 

* * *

When it was time to meet Percival his stomach hurt so much because of the anxiety he thought he’d faint. Graves noticed the pain on his face as he opened the door for him to enter the classroom. 

‘What’s wrong Credence ? Are you sick ?’ concern and care in his voice. 

‘No I’m not. I’m just…’ he took a deep breath before saying ‘Look I’m really really sorry about today. I never meant to disrespect you by chatting with Rupert. I don’t deserve your patience nor your kindness so if you want me out I’ll just go to the cafeteria’ he said, fighting to sound sure of himself. He’d had enough of the man’s pity.   
Graves looked surprised by the tone of his voice because he paused for a moment and his face softened. 

‘Credence, please don’t be upset with me. I guess I overreacted. I should hold you to the same standards as the others and not expect you to behave like the ideal student you’ve been so far’ He hadn’t meant to sound so bitter but seeing the hurt flash through Credence’s eyes, he knew he’d sounded way harsher than intended. 

‘But I want to be the ideal student. I didn’t want to talk to Rupert he just… he just…’

‘He just what Credence ? Flirted with you ? That’s what he was doing ?’ And now he sounded jealous. _Great Graves, what a good role model you make_ he thought. 

‘No… I mean yes but not at first. He noticed me doing something I shouldn’t have done and he kept making fun of me so I had to find a way to have him stop.’ Credence said not able to look into the man’s piercing gaze. 

‘What were you doing ?’ Graves asked, now curious. 

‘I was… looking at you… at your body. He said I was ‘drooling’… I’m so embarrassed, please forgive me I know I shouldn’t have been so obvious but you’re so good looking today and I just couldn’t help it. But don’t worry he doesn’t think you’re into me, who would think that anyway ?’ 

He heard the man sigh and then after a few seconds burst out laughing. 

‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh. Did he really say you were drooling ? Oh Credence, that’s quite adorable’ he said, his eyes shiny. ‘I’m fighting the urge to take you in my arms right now’ he added, getting more serious. He waited a few seconds, his laughter dying and asked ‘So he wasn’t flirting with you ?’ 

Credence was slightly annoyed. Sure it was great that the man wasn’t angry with him, but he felt like a fool. He’d been worried and embarrassed and Graves was laughing his ass off. He noticed the concern in his last question though and decided to play with his nerves too. 

‘He wasn’t flirting yet.’ 

‘Yet ?’

‘Well, when you asked us to leave at the end of the class he was actually asking me out.’ Credence added, feeling a bit cruel but also secretly pleased by the look on Graves’ face. The man seemed to have lost all his confidence. 

‘And what did you say ? Was it why he stormed out like that ?’ the man asked, hope in his eyes. Credence decided to stop playing with him. 

‘I said no and I was trying to explain why but you interrupted us before I could’ Credence said now staring right into the man’s eyes. 

‘And why did you say no ?’ 

‘Well, I said no because I like someone else. But I was planning on telling him that I just liked him as a friend to avoid raising suspicion.’ Credence’s voice was firm now, he’d finally gained some confidence. 

‘Oh you like someone else ?’ Graves asked with a playful smile, getting dangerously closer to Credence who was standing against a wall. 

‘You know I do’ the boy answered, trying to sound as neutral as possible even though he wanted to smile and tell the man so much more. 

‘But if you didn’t like someone else, would you date Rupert ?’ the older man asked, his voice more serious and deep than ever. 

‘I don’t know, I haven’t thought about that. Why ? Are you jealous ?’ He hadn’t realized that his teacher was now standing a few inches from him, and right now all he wanted was to close the distance. But he had to be strong, he had to prove the man he was not just a silly boy anymore. 

‘Yes, actually I am jealous. That’s why I overracted when I saw you talking, thinking he was flirting. I wanted to tell him that you’d never belong to him.’ 

‘Oh, and who do I belong to ?’ he said, his voice serious but inviting. He felt the man press his firm and manly body against his own. He had so much desire for him and he had to fight really hard to not get a hard on.

‘Just a few more months and I’ll show you who you belong to, but I assume you already know’ the man whispered in his ear. 

Credence let out a sigh and nodded, unable to speak. Graves took a step back, ran a hand through his hair even though it hadn’t moved, smiled mischievously and opened the door. 

‘Thank you for apologizing Mister Barebone. I’ll see you tomorrow on your best behaviour hopefully.’ He said, his face severe even though Credence knew it was all an act. 

‘I promise I will be very good, _Sir_ ’ he said as provocative as he could without sounding too cocky in case anyone listened. Before he had time to turn around to see the man’s reaction he saw Rupert staring at them suspiciously from his locker. He closed it forcefully and glared at Credence before rushing out the corridor, leaving Credence speechless and worried.   
He’d lost a friend but had he just made an enemy ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long, life got in the way... I'm going to try to update next chapter soon as I'm on sick leave and have plenty of time to kill! 
> 
> Hope you like this one :)  
> as usual thanks for the kudos and comments, they mean a lot <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Valentine's Day and Credence receives roses but who is his secret admirer ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's a short one. the next one should arrive pretty soon and it will follow directly the events of this one so don't worry, Valentine's Day is not over yet ;)

Going to school was going to be so hard that day and Credence had many reasons to be nervous. It was a special day for normal kids, _Valentine’s day_ they called it. He’d vaguely known about it before his high school experience but he’d found out more about it recently : the chocolate, the flowers, the declarations of love… his classmates had even explained to him that Valentine’s day dates often ended up in sex, which had made him blush very hard, much to his friend's amusement. They’d asked if he was going to take someone out, Rupert by any chance, but he’d said no. He’d never seen Rupert that way and the guy didn’t even talk to him anymore. He didn’t think he’d deserved his silent treatment, nor his anger but he'd had other things to worry about.   
Graves.   
Percival.   
The only person he could think about. He too had been ignoring him, not without embarrassment, but he had. Everytime Credence had tried to talk to him after class, the man had found an excuse to make him go, he hadn’t asked him to come over for one of their ‘’study sessions’’ in more than two weeks, he didn’t look at him in class, didn’t smile, he basically treated him like any other student, or worse, like he wasn’t even there.   
His heart was broken and he didn’t even know what had happened, he just knew whatever they’d had was over.   
This was one of the reasons why he was so nervous : he’d bought the man a box of chocolates, on an impulse, they were everywhere in the shops these days. He knew Percival, or rather Graves… he wasn’t allowed to think about him as Percival anymore, loved chocolates and he’d meant to thank him for all he’d done for him. But he didn’t know if he’d find the strength to give it to him.   
The other reason for his anxiety was that there was this rose exchange thing at his school :you could buy someone you liked a rose and a member of the student’s committee would come during class to give out the roses to everyone who’d been bought one. He didn’t know if he wanted one, that would be so embarrassing to have a secret admirer, but not having home would reinforce his status as an outcast.   
He’d tried to convince Ma to let him skip school that day but she liked contradicting him and forced him to go. It would be a long day.

* * *

English was on third period and he still hadn’t gotten any rose, which he was comfortable with. Not everyone he knew had gotten one so he didn’t have to worry about being left out.   
He went to his usual seat, not daring to look at Mister Graves, opened his notebook and started scribbling a few things until class started. English was torture now that he knew something was wrong.   
After 20 minutes discussing the greatest literary lovestories, how appropriate, there was a knock on the door and the air filled with anticipation. 

‘Hi Mister Graves, I have roses to give out’ said the young girl from the committee, her hands full of red roses to which small pink paper hearts were attached.   
Mister Graves nodded with a smile and let her in, he seemed in a pretty good mood that day which upset Credence a bit because he wasn’t the cause of that. He knew he shouldn’t be so selfish but he couldn’t help it, he was in love. 

The girl had given a few roses already when he heard her voice saying his name and felt all faces, Graves’ included, turn towards him.   
‘Uhm yes, that’s me’ he said shyly and blushing. 

‘You either have many secret admirers or a very generous one’ the girl said handing him a big bouquet of roses, at least 15, with his name written on the paper hearts. He didn’t recognize the handwriting and really had no idea who could have done this. A few of his classmates started whistling, others giggled and he even receive a clap on the back from the guy seated next to him. He knew it was supposed to be flattering but he was ready to die with embarrassment. 

‘Ok ok everyone, calm down. I know you’re all jealous of Mister Barebone here but we still have work to do so please let’s focus now’ Graves finally said with a smile. When no one was watching he turned to Credence and winked at him and Credence felt like his brain was going to explode.   
The man had been ignoring him for weeks and now he was winking at him ? Was there a reason behind this ? It all became clear to him : Graves had bought the roses for him. He didn’t know how but he must have. Why would he have winked otherwise ? And why would he have allowed the girl to come in with the roses ? He’d been told that Graves was the only teacher who didn’t comply with this tradition so it was suspicious that he'd make an exception this year.   
Maybe it was a sign that the man wanted to talk to him.   
Credence could barely contain his excitement, he’d talk to the man after class, give him the chocolate box as a thank you gift and things would get back to normal. 

When the bell rang everyone rushed out the door, all wanted to be with their loved one and eat chocolate. But Credence was slower to pack his bag than ever. 

‘Mister Graves ? Could I talk to you for a minute ?’ he asked when all his classmates had left the classroom. 

‘Yes Credence, what’s on your mind ?’ the man asked, still not opening up to him like he used to. His body language showed no warmth or welcome. 

‘I… I bought you something’ Credence took the box out of his bag and handed it to Graves who suddenly blushed and looked embarrassed. 

‘Oh, thank you Credence. But I can’t accept it. You know I can’t’ he sounded sorry but firm too.

‘Why ?’ Credence murmured, half to himself.

‘Because it’s a box of chocolate... on Valentine’s day. Those things have meaning…’ he said from behind his desk, not getting closer to Credence, not laying a reassuring hand on his shoulder like he used to. Cold and distant.   
Credence put the box back in his bag before Mr Scamander interrupted.

‘Oh I’m sorry I didn’t know you’d have company Percival’ he said, red in the face and awkward as ever. 

‘That’s alright, Mr Barebone and I were talking about the lesson. What’s wrong Newt ? Do you need to speak to me privately ?’ Mister Graves said, not even looking at Credence when he said his name. 

‘No I have to hurry, I’m meeting Tina for lunch. Theseus just called me to say he’d made reservations at 7 tonight, the usual place. He texted you but it seems like your phone is off, as usual.’ Newt said with a teasing smile. 

‘I see. Yes, thanks Newt. Tell him I’ll be there. Give my love to Tina’ 

‘I will. See ya Percival. Bye Credence’. Newt left the room and it was obvious that Graves was embarrassed because he sighed and looked at the ground in silence for a few minutes. 

‘Who’s Theseus ?' Credence asked. He needed to know, but he was also afraid of the answer.   
He saw Graves open his mouth to speak but before he could he heard a cough and both turned to the corridor where Mr Grindelwald was staring at them with a grin. Credence didn’t know why but the man scared him and made him deeply uncomfortable. The teacher waved at Graves and walked by, his smile plastered on his face.   
This seemed to disturb the English teacher because he became agitated, moving to open the door even wider. 

‘Credence, I’m sorry. Really sorry. We can’t talk like this anymore. I am your teacher, you are my student and I must ask you to leave now’ he declared, his tone harsh and cold. 

The young man was stunned but he’d been through enough to know he had to move on now. Before stepping in the corridor he heard the man mumbling, his voice softer ‘I’m sorry.’ He didn’t turn around and left.   
It was all over now and he knew he had a man named _Theseus_ to blame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, there's more to this coming pretty soon ;)
> 
> as usual thank you for the kudos and comments <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part II of Valentine's day. Credence sees Percival with Theseus coming out of the restaurant and is heartbroken. But his day somehow has a happy ending!

That night giving out flyers was harder than ever. It was freezing outside but also inside, where his heart lay broken. He had to give out flyers about the dangers of love and lust even though all he wanted right now was to be loved by Percival and kiss him and touch him like most kids his age would be touching their crushes that night.  
But he couldn’t, never, and this was the most painful feeling ever. Worse than the beatings, worse than the loneliness. ‘Unrequited love’ was what they called it. _More like death_ he thought. 

He was in front of ‘the Parisian’ and he could hear the love songs he usually listened to with glee. But that night he was filled with bitterness, how could the world be happy and he wasn’t ? It was so unfair.  
From afar he saw a couple coming out of the restaurant and he reluctantly got closer to give them a pamphlet but stopped as soon as he was close enough to realise they were two men, their arms locked and broad smiles over their faces. It was Percival and a man Credence didn’t know but was familiar. He looked a lot like Mister Scamander but also like the portrait in Graves’ living room. That was him, the handsome man in the army suit. Before he could come to his senses and leave, Percival met his eyes and his smile faded. 

‘Credence what are you …’  
Before he could finish his question, Credence had turned around and started running. He didn’t know where but right now he needed to be away.  
He stopped after 5minutes to catch his breath and had to sit because he was shaking violently. When he was calmer, he put all his remaining pamphlets in the closest bin and decided to go home, he couldn’t do more right now.  
The good side to tonight was that no one was home. Ma had gone to a seminar in a nearby town about the perversions of men and how to avoid them while staying a good respectable woman. She’d obviously taken his sisters with her, it was never too early to train their young minds to spot evil in all situations. They’d sleep at a fellow Church member as it was too dangerous to drive late with the snow on the roads. 

As soon as he was home he went straight to his room, opened the box of chocolates and ate as much of them as he could to make them all disappear. They were proofs of his stupidity and reminders of the hope he’d had and lost so quickly. It was almost cathartic to take out his frustration and sadness on the token of his love.  
After eating most of the box, he spotted chocolate smeared on his shirt and had to take it off to avoid staining it even more, he’d have to wash it before Ma came home the day after.  
At around 10:30 Credence heard a knock on the door, much to his surprise as no one ever came here. He didn’t bother putting his shirt back on, simply covering himself with a jacket.  
He went downstairs to open the door and almost fainted when he saw Mister Graves standing there in front of him. 

‘Credence, I’m sorry to bother you. Are you on your own ?’ Percival looked concerned and sad, so different from how he’d looked coming out of the restaurant. The young man couldn’t help thinking he’d ruined his night and felt terrible. 

‘Yes, please come in’ Credence said, unsure.  
He was ashamed of his house, so dark and dirty. It looked nothing like Graves’. But the man didn't even seemed to notice, he just looked at him fixedly.  
‘What can I do for you Sir ?’ 

‘Erm…Well, I wanted to explain. I mean I shouldn’t be here. But I wanted you to know that the man you saw me with tonight was my best friend Theseus, he’s Mister Scamander’s older brother.’

‘Okay’ was all Credence could say, not knowing why the man was saying this as he’d made it clear they shouldn’t be talking about personal things anymore. 

‘And you, what were you doing outside ? It’s cold you shouldn’t be roaming the streets you know ?’ Graves asked, obviously doing his best to break the ice. But it wouldn’t be so easy, not anymore. 

‘I was giving out pamphlets, as usual. Valentine’s day is a busy day for sinners apparently.’ He looked right into the man’s eyes while saying this, as if he was talking about him. 

‘Credence, please. I’m sorry okay. For everything, if you let me explain I’ll…’ 

The young man didn’t let him explain. Not knowing what came to him, his lips crashed against his teacher’s and he pressed him against the nearest wall. The man did not have it in him to stop and he opened up to Credence’s kiss. He let his hands carress his student’s back, and then move lower, to his small firm ass. A moan escaped Credence’s mouth as his teacher groped him.  
‘Do you like that ?’ the man asked eager not to do anything Credence wouldn’t want. 

‘Yes, yes please Sir, carry on’ the boy said, trying to catch his breath. 

‘Don’t call me that or I’ll lose it’ the older man chuckled. He then took one of his hands to Credence’s shoulder while touching his butt with the other and then proceeded to unzip Credence’s jacket. Credence too was trying to take some of his teacher’s clothes off : first his tie, then his shirt. He unbuttonned it faster than he thought he could and when it was open, he stared at the man’s chest for a while. It was muscular and firm and covered with a thin layer of greyish hair. He ran his hands all over it and started feeling the bulge in his pants getting bigger and harder. He felt a bit embarrassed and took a few steps back. 

‘What’s going on Credence ? Please tell me’ Graves closed the distance between them to put both his hands on Credence’s face and softly kissed him.  
‘I just… I’ve never… I don’t know…’ Credence mumbled, still embarrassed but comforted by his teacher’s touch.  
‘Shhhh, we don’t have to do anything. Don’t worry. We can take it slow sweet Credence.’ 

The young man was even more aroused than before, the man's protectiveness was so manly and sexy to him. He started kissing him again, more fiercely this time. Percival chuckled because of Credence’s eagerness, he was so shy minutes ago and now he was all over him.  
He finished unzipping his jacket and ran his hands all over Credence’s chest, slowly moving to his neck and back.  
As soon as his hands touched the young man’s back, he felt something was wrong as Credence jerked away, panting. His fresh bruises and wounds still burned and many questions came to his mind : _how would Graves react ? Would he find them unattractive ? Would he get angry ?_  
Shame started coming over in waves, crashing his hopes of finally being with the man he loved. What he was doing was the exact reason why he had those bruises, he was a sinner.  
He saw a change in Graves’ eyes and thought it confirmed his fears. 

‘Credence, what are those ? Fresh wounds ? Did she… ?’ Percival asked, his face a mixture of anger and concern. Credence didn’t cry, he wanted to be strong. But he was shaking so violently Graves couldn’t help worrying. 

‘Please, shhh, calm down sweet Credence. It’s okay, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Do you know that ? You did nothing wrong. She did. Well, maybe what I’m doing right now is wrong too. But you...you my boy are perfect and precious and you deserve the world.’ The man said, his voice soft and comforting. He hugged Credence who slowly relaxed in his arms and they remaned like this for a while, taking comfort in the other’s presence.

When Credence was calm again, Graves put both his hands around the young man’s face and kissed his forehead, his cheeks, his nose and then his lips. Soon, the young man forgot why he had been panicking minutes before and lost himself in the kiss. He let Graves finally take his jacket off his shoulders. He wasn’t afraid anymore, he wanted to share this with him, share all of him with the only person who wanted to really know him.  
There was obvious shock in his teacher’s eyes when he saw the scars and wounds, but no pity. He started kissing his shoulders and moved behind him to plant soft healing kisses on his wounds. It didn’t hurt, it was soothing. He could feel all the tension that had been building up in his body now leaving under the man’s delicate lips.  
Credence took Graves’ hand to lead him to his bedroom. 

Percival was heartbroken when he saw that Credence slept on a matress on the floor and had no furniture and simply nothing except his clothes on a rack and his books. But he didn’t say anything, all he wanted was to make the younger man happy. As they were both standing awkwardly, Percival decided to sit on the matress, his back against the wall and pull Credence on top of him. The young man was straddling him which allowed Percival to stare at him more closely. He was so beautiful and he couldn’t believe someone could be cruel enough to hurt him. Seeing the man looking at his scars, Credence kissed him gently to turn the attention back to him, to his lips. The kiss became more urgent and the two men had to grip each other to stay stable as they were getting carried away with the kiss and touches.  
The young man was totally inexperienced, but he knew what to do with his erection and how good it felt to rub it against Graves’, even with his pants still on. He started grinding with more intensity and hearing the moans coming from the handsome man under him, he knew he was doing things right. Percival put both his hands on the younger man’s waist to guide his movements and they started thrusting in the same rhythm, harder and harder. It felt so good and Credence recognised the sensations leading to an orgasm, having shamefully experienced it a lot since he'd met Graves and touched himself thinking of him. However, this time was different because they were doing it together and it was so intense he had sparks in his eyes and felt dizzy. When he reached his climax, he lost his balance and Percival had to hold him to prevent him to fall on the mattress. 

‘Credence are you okay ?’ he asked with concern.  
‘Erm. Yes, I guess’ he answered mostly embarrassed by what had happened.  
He didn’t need to explain as Graves brought him closer and held him in a tight embrace.  
While caressing his hair he whispered ‘Ssshhh it’s fine. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about okay ? You’re perfect. I just hope it was good for you ?’

Credence nooded in the man’s neck, and murmured a soft ‘Yes’.  
They stayed like this for a while before Credence went to the bathroom to clean himself. When he came back, wrapped in a large towel, Percival couldn’t help but smile at this beautiful sight. He was perfect and he couldn’t believe he was so lucky.  
They cuddled under the blanket for a while before Credence realised that the man hadn’t had an orgasm. He didn’t know how to approach the subject without making a fool of himself but he felt like he needed to apologize or something. 

‘Percival ?’

‘Yes sweet Credence ?’ 

‘You didn’t… erm you didn’t …’ he stammered, unable to say what was on his mind. Graves smiled and shook his head to say no. 

‘It doesn’t matter. Tonight is all about you okay ? If it felt good to you that’s all that matters to me.’ He replied with tenderness in his voice. Then, his face became serious and dark as he seemed lost in thought. ‘But Credence, please tell me…What happened ? Why did she beat you again ? I thought things were okay.’ 

‘Oh… well… She found my journal and I had written certain things… about you. Of course I didn’t mention your name but she realised there was someone at school I wanted to ... do sinful things with.’ He answered lowering his head.  
Percival held him even tighter, tenderness softening his face.  
‘Oh baby, the fact that you wrote about me is so sweet. But you need to be careful okay ? I wish I could help you, I wish I could just…’ 

‘No please !’ Credence interrupted ‘you promised you wouldn’t do anything until I could get a job and take care of Modersty. Please tell me you won’t do anything.’ 

‘I won’t’ Graves answered and he planted a kiss on Credence’s lips. 

They cuddled and kissed for almost an hour after that and they eventually fell asleep in each other’s arms, exhausted by the day’s emotions. Credence had never felt more at peace with himself and the world than now, and he hoped this would last forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay things got a bit out of hand :) But Credence deserved it didn't he?  
> His happiness won't last long though so prepare yourself for the angst that's coming up ... :p
> 
> As always, thanks for the comments and kudos <3


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Credence wakes up next to Percival and they have serious conversation about the situation and why Graves has been so distant recently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took so long, life happened and my anxiety made it too hard to update :/ I'll try to update more regularly!

Credence usually woke up at 5 every morning to do his chores. He left the house around 7 so he'd have time to give out the pamphlets for the week's Assembly.   
When his alarm clock went off, he was already awake and hearing Percival grunting next to him made him realize this was not an ordinary day. Not only didn't he have much to do considering he wouldn't have to prepare breakfast for 4 people and wash their dishes but today he’d be able to make breakfast for Percival, just like he’d allow himself to imagine some nights before going to bed. 

'aaaaargh Credence why on earth is your alarm clock set so early ?' Percival mumbled, his head buried in the mattress (there was only one pillow and he'd left it to Credence). The younger man couldn't suppress his chuckle. 

'I usually have a lot to do.' He said with a smile, he couldn't even let the thought bring him down. He was too happy. 

'Oh. Okay... Well, maybe that's good. I'll be able to go home and change before school starts and your mother comes home. Moreover we should talk about yesterday...' 

Percival saw the worry in the younger man's face and brought him closer to him and spooning him even though that would mean letting him feel his morning boner. 

'Don't worry sweet Credence. I don't regret anything but we still have to discuss certain things' he said reassuringly before planting soft kisses on Credence's shoulders and back. 

'Okay. I'll cook breakfast and we can talk while eating. The bathroom is at the end of the corridor if you want to take a shower.' 

Percival was surprised when he saw the bathroom. It wasn't luxurious but it was quite clean and not as ancient as the rest of the house. But then again, Credence's room was clean too and the boy had always seemed to have good hygiene. He realized that cleaning this room was probably one of the things he had to do at 5 in the morning and it angered him. He usually masturbated first thing in the morning to keep his body under control all day and he almost wanted to do it in the shower to disrespect Mary-Lou but he was too impatient to join Credence for breakfast so he took a quick shower and went downstairs. 

He smelled French toast and coffee and couldn't help smiling. How could he have known what his favourite breakfast was?   
When Credence turned around to face him he suddenly gaped. 

'What's wrong Credence?' 

The boy flushed and looked down. 

'Erm... it's just... it's just that you are really sexy with your hair dripping on your shirt like that' he mumbled.

Graves’ face darkened at this, but he quickly composed himself and gave out a soft laugh. ‘oh, sorry, I can go dry my hair if you want me too’ he said with a wink. 

Credence blushed and the older man got closer to hug him tightly. 'Don't be embarrassed' he whispered 'you're quite sexy yourself with your messy hair'.   
They remained like this a few minutes until Credence’s stomach made itself heard. 

While they were eating, the young man could see that Percival was thinking about something serious, the lines on his forehead deformed by his thoughts, but he was too scared to ask what he was thinking about. When the man finally opened his mouth to speak, Credence’s heart started beating so fast he thought he would faint. 

‘We still need to discuss a few things. Are you ready to talk now or do you need a bit more time?’ 

‘No, I’ll be fine. Say what you have to say’ the young man answered firmly.

‘Okay. Well, first I wanted to apologize about yesterday and how distant I have been recently. Something happened…’ 

‘What happened?’ Credence interrupted, unable to hide the worry in his voice. 

‘I got a visit from Mr Grindelwald a while ago. He said that a student had reported to him that I had been a bit too close to one of his classmates. Grindelwald warned me that I should be careful if I wanted to stay out of trouble.’ Percival said, his voice serious and grave. 

‘Oh… I have an idea who this student might be’ 

‘Me too. I’m pretty sure it was your friend Rupert, I’ve seen him talking to Mr Grindewald a lot recently.’ Graves added. 

‘But why would a teacher believe a student over his colleague? Did he ask you if it was true?’ 

‘Well… you see Gellert, I mean Mr Grindelwald, and I dated a while back. Not for long, we went on a few dates before I realized it wouldn’t work. I was still entangled in my previous relationship and couldn’t really be involved in another one, especially as I didn’t feel a connection with Gellert. Anyway, I think he’s always resented me for this, I guess he liked me more than I liked him.’ 

Credence couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He had a hard time picturing the handsome, charming and gentle man in front of him dating his creepy physics teacher. 

‘Wow, I thought adults were supposed to be more… I don’t know, mature? It’s not professional to hold a grudge against your colleague like that. But anyway, I guess he was right though, we’re closer than we should be’ Credence said with a cheeky smile. 

‘Oh are you teasing me young man?’ Graves asked with a chuckle before getting serious again ‘ but this leads me to my second point. You know we have to keep our distances at school and be extremely careful, right?’   
Credence nodded and Percival took a deep breath, obviously preparing to say something difficult.   
‘As wonderful as last night was, and when I say wonderful I think it’s an understatement, you know we can’t do it again until I’m no longer your teacher. You know this, don’t you?’ he asked. 

Credence felt so relieved that the man didn’t regret the events of the previous night that he didn’t even mind what the man had just said. Of course he knew it. But he could wait.   
He got closer to the man and took his face in both his hands. 

‘I know Percival, I am ready to wait for this, for us. Knowing that you don’t regret it is enough to make me happy for the remaining 4 months.’ He pressed his lips to the man’s lips, softly, and whispered ‘Consider this to be our last kiss until graduation.’ 

Graves’ face got darker again and he grunted ‘Oh, but I think I’ll need a bit more than that’ and he grabbed Credence’s butt, opening his legs to let him get closer and they kissed fiercely for a few minutes before parting, both panting but also smiling like idiots. 

‘Now that’s better. I’ll hold onto this memory until you graduate’ Percival said. 

They finished their breakfasts with smiles and before Percival left, Credence felt it was time to ask the question that had been burning his lips since the day before. 

‘Percival? Can I ask you a personal question?’ he asked shyly. 

‘Of course. Let me guess, you want to know who I was with yesterday when you saw me, right?’ 

Credence blushed and nodded, now he felt silly for being such a typical jealous boyfriend. Well, he wasn’t even Percival’s boyfriend so he really had no reason to be jealous. 

‘He was my friend and ex Theseus. He is Mr Scamander’s big brother. We met at Uni, fell in love, dated and then he enrolled in the army and I broke up because I didn’t want to be with a soldier. Long story short, he’s a friend now. Just a friend.’ Graves said softly with a reassuring tone. 

Credence smiled and got closer to him again, planted a soft kiss on the man’s cheek and said ‘I’m sorry I asked, it’s none of my business. I guess I was jealous because he’s really handsome.’ 

‘He is handsome’ Percival replied ‘but not as handsome as you.’ He planted a kiss on Credence’s cheek in return and got up.   
‘As much as I’d love to stay here and talk I really have to go and get changed before school. Let me help you wash all this’ he added. 

They tidied up the kitchen and Percival left, but not before hugging Credence one last time. 

The bliss Credence felt at this moment was unmatched by anything he’d ever felt, and he finally understood why people were running after love. He knew his life finally mattered to someone, he knew why he was alive and thisfeeling was worth the 4 months of torture ahead of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it :) thx for reading !


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Credence has English class with Mr Graves, will it be weird or will they be able to not think about their 'make out' session from the night before?

School wasn’t as awful as he’d thought. As Credence made his way through the hallways to Graves’ classroom, he felt free and light, as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Graves wanted him, they were okay and they would be together in 4 months. All he had to do was wait, and he knew he could.   
When he entered the classroom, Graves lifted his eyes from the papers he was finishing grading, as if he’d felt Credence’s presence. They exchanged discreet smiles that could easily be seen as politeness, even though there was an intimacy in their eyes and a softness in Percival’s features that were impossible to miss if you looked closely. But no one was watching closely, and Percival’s eyes followed Credence to his chair, before returning to his papers.

****

* * *

‘So, why was Ginsberg’s Howl so groundbreaking at the time he wrote it? Anyone?’ 

They were studying works by the Beat Generation and Credence was a bit lost. He usually understood what he was reading or could analyze the form and how language could convey meanings and feelings without stating things. But this time he had a hard time figuring it all out. He knew what it was about, he just didn’t know what to do with the bluntness of the work, its lack of “poetry’’. For Credence poetry had always equaled beauty, subtlety and melancholy, not anger and deconstruction.   
But he didn’t want to disappoint Percival, especially as no one was answering the question and he could see his teacher’s weariness. 

‘Yes Credence?’ he asked, his face lightning up as the young man rose his hand. 

‘I guess the poem seems a bit... uhm... disorganized and... uhm... that’s what’s unusual?' He said tentatively and Graves' encouraging smile gave him the confidence he needed to carry on. 'Of course, Ginsberg wasn’t the first one who made experiments with free verse and lack of punctuation, he borrowed his long lines from Whitman. But Ginsberg completely scoffs at the old rules of poetry like regular meters or rhymes. The lines are so long that it feels like the sentences never end which makes the poem hard to read aloud or follow.’ The young man answered, hoping not to say anything stupid. 

‘Yes, very good. But you said, rightly so, that he’d borrowed from Whitman, so the form is not the only reason why the poem is so groundbreaking. Why did he use this form? What’s the purpose of all the anaphors and long lines?’ 

Credence took a deep breath to think of what the man was asking. It was weird being back in the position of a student who wanted to impress his teacher just like when he’d started following his classes. But he desperately wanted to show Graves that he had been right in thinking Credence was smart. And for the first time, he allowed himself to think about the future. He’d go to college and study English and become a teacher, or a writer maybe. Life was full of possibilities and he was able to see them because Percival had given him hope that things would some day be easy. 

‘Well… Ginsberg denounces many things: the lack of creativity of his generation, the madness of the war, the hopelessness of the American people… Maybe he wanted the readers to struggle reading just like the people he described were struggling to simply live their lives. When you declaim or recite this poem you’re out of breath, and your mind can’t process all the information in this piece because Ginsberg doesn’t leave you any time to process them. You have to finish those long, endless sentences and at the end you’re exhausted, just like the worn-out men and women he writes about. At least, that’s how I felt reading it.’

‘Excellent Credence! I’ll add a few precisions but that’s where I was going with my questions. Thank you. Anyone would like to give their input?’ Graves’ grin was contagious, you could see that he was happy someone had understood what the class was about. It was obvious that he loved his job and that he wanted to teach these kids how to think, analyze and interpret. Credence just wished his classmates had tried as much as he had, because they were lucky to have a teacher like him who took time to explain and hear their remarks. 

When the bell rang, the young man took his stuff out and tried to leave as quickly as possible so there wouldn't be a risk of their eyes meeting or something but Graves didn’t seem to care as he said loudly ‘Very nice comments today Credence, keep up the good work!’ and the two men exchanged smiles before saying goodbye.

****

* * *

As soon as he stepped into his house, Credence’s silly grin vanished from his face. His mother’s and sisters’ bags had been left for him to collect and sort out, and he could already see some mess in the kitchen. Things were back to normal, too soon. 

‘Credence, is that you?’ he heard Mary-Lou yell from upstairs, she sounded angry.   
‘Come upstairs, NOW!’ 

He found her in his bedroom, holding the empty box of chocolate. He’d totally forgotten to throw it away and now she was probably making up different scenarios in her mind. 

‘Who gave this to you? Was it a girl from school? Do you have a girlfriend?’ she asked, glaring at him. 

‘No, I bought it for myself. There was a discount and I thought it would be nice to treat myself for once.’ He said, staring at the ground. 

‘Do you think I’m this stupid?! And what do you mean by ‘treat myself for once’? And where would you get the money anyway?’ she screamed at him. 

Whatever he was answering, he knew she’d find a way to make it seem bad, everything he did was wrong.

‘Yes, you’re right. I’m sorry. A girl at school gave them to me, I didn’t have it in me to say no so I kept the box and ate all of it yesterday. I know greed is a sin and eating so much sugar is bad, I should have refused them and there’s no excuse for what I did.’ 

‘Well, you know what to do. Take your shirt off, I’ll go take a belt.’ 

_4 months. 4 months and he would be free. Could time run faster please?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry but this will get super angsty and sad, so prepare yourself for next chapter!   
> as always, thanks for reading :)


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rupert sees Credence's scars and decides to tell someone...

The beating of the day before had been so bad that Credence was barely able to ride his bike as his body was still shaking in pain. And to make things worse he had P.E in the afternoon, he knew already it would be a nightmare. 

He saw Percival in the corridors and avoided him, even though he desperately wanted to run to the man and ask him to hold him tight. Staying apart was so hard when he needed to be comforted. But he knew not only that they had to be discreet at school but also that the man would guess something was wrong if they talked or even looked at each other. Percival knew him better than anyone else and it usually was heartwarming but today he couldn’t allow him to see right through him. 

It was almost impossible to behave normally as every move, every friction of his shirt against his skin burned. He winced many times, and had to suppress a lot of whimpers. She’d completely lashed out, and it would take some time for his back to heal. He could see some of his classmates eyeing him suspiciously, especially Rupert who kept looking at him, even more than usual. There was a mixture of worry and pity in his eyes that Credence really didn’t want to deal with right now. He’d never trust Rup’ again after he’d gone to Grindelwald nor would he talk to him, he’d been betrayed enough in his life. 

When it was almost time for P.E, he went to the locker room to change before anyone arrived. He wanted to take his shirt off quickly but he couldn’t, he had to remove it slowly or he would cry in pain.  
He’d almost put his jersey on when he heard the door opening, followed by a loud gasp.   
‘Credence, what happened?’ it was Rupert who had obviously followed him. 

‘It’s nothing. Don’t worry.’ Credence snapped, while hurrying to cover himself even though it hurt really bad. 

‘Credence, I’m… you probably found out about what I told Mr Grindelwald. I’m sorry okay? I shouldn’t have done that. I was jealous and I thought you liked Mr Graves but I know I was out of line. Now, let me help you. Tell me who did this to you?’ Rupert’s tone was pleading and Credence was tempted to forgive him, but he had to protect himself and he knew he couldn’t tell him about Mary-Lou anyway. 

‘You don’t need to know! You saw nothing, ok? If you want a chance of being my friend ever again you’re going to stay quiet. I’ll handle my problems myself.’ Credence had never talked with so much determination. But life was going to get better and he couldn’t allow Rupert to ruin everything. He’d almost lost Percival because of him, he wouldn’t risk losing Modesty, not when he was so close to being able to take care of her.

****

* * *

Trying to play basketball was torture but Credence had to pretend he was fine. Mr Abernathy noticed that something was off though and sent him to the benches to rest after Credence told him he had a migraine. The teacher had seemed to believe him but the young man knew he’d have to be extra careful in the future. 

After class he rushed to the locker room, took his things without bothering to shower or put his normal clothes back on and rushed home on his bike, tears running down his cheeks.   
Maybe tomorrow would be a better day, but for now all he wanted to do was lay on his bed and replay every moment he’d spent with Percival, every detail. 

That evening, Modesty applied some ointment to his back while Mary-Lou was out. 

‘Credence, why don’t you leave?’ she asked bluntly, her eyes devoid of any emotion. She’d witnessed so much abuse that she’d become insensitive and the young man wanted to give her the normal life she deserved, it wasn’t too late. Not for her. 

‘You know why Mo. You know I can’t leave you here.’ He said, turning around to brush her cheek with his thumb. ‘I am going to graduate from school soon, then I’ll get a job and we’ll live in a flat together. Would you like that?’ 

The young girl smiled softly, as if she was picturing another life in her head but didn’t believe it would happen. She nodded still and after she’d bandaged Credence’s back, she’d gotten used to doing that, she hugged him as tightly as she could without hurting him. Their bond was special, and in moments like this Credence remembered why he was still putting up with Mary-Lou’s abuse. 

He woke up the next morning with his back a little less sore, but still burning and bright red. He had English in a few hours and didn’t know how he’d manage to hide his pain from Percival. Fortunately, it was Friday which meant that after that day he wouldn’t have to control his reactions for the whole week-end. 

English class was okay, more than he’d thought. He could feel Rupert’s gaze the whole time and he’d even caught Percival eying Rup suspiciously but overall things were quite normal. When the bell rang he saw Graves looking at him and opening his mouth but before he had time to say anything Rupert was standing in front of his desk. 

‘I have a few questions about the assignment, do you have a few minutes Sir?’ he asked. 

Graves looked surprised and Credence could discern disappointment in his eyes but he only noticed it because he knew him pretty well. He couldn’t help grinning, it was cute how Percival had tried to catch his eye during the class and just now. But he soon started to worry, since when did Rupert care about his assignments? Everyone knew he always handed them in late and his grades were mediocre. He headed to his next class with a knot in his stomach. 

At lunch he’d tried to catch Rupert to talk to him but the boy was nowhere to be found. He had to wait for his next class to see the boy, who came in late and sat as far from him as possible.   
15minutes after the class had started, he heard a knock on the door and saw Mr Scamander behind it. 

‘Hi Mr Grindelwald, sorry to interrupt. I have to ask Mr Barebone to follow me to the principal’s office.’ He turned around to look at Credence ‘Take all your things please.’ His voice was gentle but the young man couldn’t help feeling he was in some kind of trouble and he knew deep down what was happening.

When they entered Mrs Picquery’s office, he was asked to sit down and Mr Scamander joined the principal behind her desk. 

‘Credence do you know why you are here,’ she asked.

‘No, I don’t know. I haven’t done anything wrong.’ He replied, his head low. 

‘Let’s go straight to the point: we’ve had some disturbing reports from a teacher and a classmate. It seems that you have some wounds all over your back. Is that true?’ There was concern in her voice, she obviously wanted to help but he was too scared to say anything. 

‘Credence, all we want to do is help you. You have to tell us the truth okay?’ It was Mr Scamander’s soft, almost trembling voice this time. The young man lifted his head to look at him, he wanted to believe his concern was genuine but he knew he couldn’t trust anyone. Not anymore.   
The young man stayed silent, he couldn’t find the strength to lie but he also couldn’t say the truth, so he just stared blankly at the wall. 

‘Listen, I’m sorry this is happening to you, but we have to ensure our students’ safety and you’re not making it easy for us to help you. Do you deny those claims?’ The woman asked, obviously trying to be friendly but her tone betraying impatience, she probably wasn’t used to those situations and didn’t know how to deal with them. 

Credence heard footsteps coming in his direction, he lifted his eyes to meet those of Mister Scamander, he’d never realized how beautiful they were, and felt the man’s hand on his shoulder before he took a chair and sat next to him. 

‘Credence, none of this is your fault, you know this right? You’ve done nothing wrong. We just want to help you, okay?’ 

The young man couldn’t hold his tears anymore and started sobbing. 

‘Please tell me nothing will happen to my little sister? I don’t want her to go to an orphanage, I know those places, they’re awful. Who… who told you? Is it Rupert? Is he the one who told you?’

The two adults in the room looked at each other, obviously embarrassed. 

‘It’s not important who told us, what matters is that you’re out of danger right now.’ Mr Picquery stated.  
Her eyes and voice betrayed her, of course it was Rupert. Then it hit him: they mentioned a teacher, and he’d seen Rupert talking to… Mr Graves. Percival. His Percival. The only person in the entire world he trusted. He started crying harder, his burning tears a reminder of the burning wounds on his back. 

 

Mr Scamander had Credence talk a bit more about his life at home, telling him to take his time if he needed it, before a police officer entered the room. He asked Credence many questions and requested that he showed his scars, privately if needed. Credence took his shirt off, resigned, and the loud gasp coming from Mrs Picquery confirmed that things were going to get complicated and messy.   
The police officer asked him if he could take a few photos, before giving the adults in the room a few quiet instructions that Credence couldn’t hear. His sobbing had calmed down but he felt dizzy; too many emotions, more than he could handle.   
The police officer left with a tight smile and a promise that everything would be alright, but Credence didn’t believe that. Everyone was lying.   
The school nurse came in to properly disinfect his still open wounds and the burning sensation brought him back to reality. Unfortunately, when he hurt like that he knew he was awake and not just having a nightmare. 

After a while Mr Scamander and Mrs Pickery told him that the police were going to go to his house and that social services would probably take his sisters to a facility for the night until the case was solved. Since he was now 18, they preferred him to go sleep at a friend’s because they had too many underage kids to take care of already. Mr Scamander even proposed to let him stay at his place for the night but Credence told him he had a friend he could stay with. The older man seemed hesitant but Credence was 18 and he couldn’t force him to do anything, it was not like he was under arrest.

‘Credence, I know this is really difficult for you but please don’t go to your house tonight. There’s nothing you can do for your sisters now and if you go home your mother will probably try to get you to speak in her favour, if she hasn’t been arrested yet.’ Mr Scamander pleaded, pulling on his cute puppy face. Credence would probably had fallen for that if he hadn’t been so angry and distrustful. 

‘Ok, I won’t go. When can I see Modesty?’ he asked dryly. 

‘Well, we’ll hear from the police tonight or tomorrow morning. Then, we’ll know what will happen to your sisters. My guess is that they’ll be placed in foster care for a while. I’ll give a few phone calls tonight to get some info. You can drop by my office on your way to class tomorrow morning, I’ll tell you everything I know.’ 

Credence nodded and left, not even feeling sorry for lying; of course, he was going to his house but at this point he didn’t care about lying or betraying someone's trust, not anymore.   
He rode his bike to his house but had to stop a few blocks away when he saw police cars in the driveway. He’d hoped to get there before anyone else to see his sisters but he’d failed. All of this because of Rupert. No. Because of Percival, Mister Graves. His teacher and no longer friend and lover. Had they even been lovers anyway?   
He could understand why Rupert would go talk to him, he was worried and talked about it to an adult because that’s what you were supposed to do. But Graves, he had promised to keep quiet, he knew what was at risk, he knew that Credence couldn’t bear the idea of Modesty being taken away, and he still did it.   
Credence knew what he needed to do, he turned his bike in the opposite direction and started cycling as fast as he could.  
It was time to confront the person responsible for all of this mess...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Credence :(   
> I hope you don't hate me :p  
> To help you forgive me next chapter will get a bit smutty :D 
> 
> Thanks for the kudos and comments, they mean a lot <3


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Credence confronts Percival who makes a revelation the young man didn't expect ...

When he knocked on the door, Credence felt more determined than ever. The door opened and Graves appeared behind it, his face sad and worried. ‘I’m so…’ Before he could even finish, Credence pushed him inside with more strength than he knew he possessed. 

‘Don’t tell me you’re sorry! I trusted you… you betrayed me!’ he spoke aggressively. ‘I hate you!’ 

At the last part, tears started dwelling in Percival’s eyes and he had to fight to keep them in there. He approached Credence with his open arms and his usual protectiveness in spite of Credence’s obvious anger. 

‘Please, Credence, you know I had to.’ 

‘I don’t want to hear it. I hate you, you hear me?’ Credence threw small punches on the man’s chest, not as much to hurt him as to show him how angry he was. 

‘Rupert expected me to do something. I had to. Credence please calm down and listen to me for a second.’ 

The young man was crying now and Percival took this opportunity to carry on. 

‘Rupert would have suspected something if I hadn’t reported this and… and it made me realize that I was your teacher before anything else, I’m here to guide you and help you. I can’t let my feelings distract me from what’s right.’

‘How dare you make this about yourself?’ the young man reacted furiously ‘it’s not about your morals or your job. It’s about my life, and my sisters’ lives.’ 

‘I know you hate me, I know you’re angry but I swear it will be alright. Please trust me on this’ the older man pleaded, his throat constricted. 

‘How could I trust you again? Why would I?’ 

‘Because I love you Credence. I love you and I just want what’s right for you.’ The two men shared a look of disbelief, Percival had known for a while that he was in love with the young man but he didn’t want to say it out loud, and Credence didn’t think someone like Graves could be in love with a loser like him.   
At a loss for words, all he could do was push Percival against the nearest wall and kiss him fiercely, his hands holding the man’s face in place. 

‘We should talk…’ moaned Percival, out of breath between kisses. 

‘Later!’ ordered Credence and he could feel the man’s tension leaving his body. He moved his lips to his neck, one of his hands was wandering on his chest while the other one was groping his ass. Then he started opening Percival’s shirt and when he was finished he lowered himself to leave kisses everywhere, which made the older man moan louder than Credence had heard him before. Percival put a hand under the young man’s chin, lifted it and looked at him with so much desire that Credence couldn’t help standing up again to kiss this ridiculously handsome face. He felt one of the man’s hands move to his butt, but he could see that he was still trying to control himself as his other hand was unoccupied and clenched. The young man took it and directed it to his hard groin and chuckled when he heard the man’s almost whimper. It was ironical to be the one in control here when Graves was more experienced, maybe all this mess had somehow liberated Credence? What did he have to lose now? He chased these ideas away but Percival seemed to read his mind. 

‘Are you sure we should do this?’ he whispered, obviously too turned on to speak normally. 

Credence nodded and gave a few thrusts up into Percival’s hand. He took one of his own hands to Graves’ zipper and opened it, first caressing the bulge through his underwear and then sliding his hand under it to grab the man’s throbbing member. Feeling the man’s hardness sent shivers down his spine, he still was in awe of the effect he had on him. Percival licked his hand before sliding it under Credence’s boxers, never turning his eyes away from the younger man who looked so determined and sure for once. Credence started stroking Graves who immediately returned the favour. They quickly found their rhythm, both panting and groaning.   
The only sounds that were heard were their moans and breaths, they’d never shared a deeper connection without needing to exchange words. Credence couldn’t help kissing the man, his tongue eager to dance with Percival’s and his free hand unable to get away from his tight ass.   
When he was about to climax, too soon he thought, Credence stopped moving for a second to whisper a sincere ‘I love you too’ in the man's ear. He then came, and Percival pressed his lips to the young man’s, waiting for him to open his mouth to let his tongue meet his. It took a bit longer for him to come but when he did he was so overwhelmed by the pleasure that he felt weak in the knees. He was like a teenager in this moment, and he couldn’t believe that the person who made him feel that way was barely an adult. 

They remained pressed against each other for a few minutes to catch their breaths and then moved to the bathroom to clean themselves. Percival took all his clothes off and went to the shower, turning his head to Credence right before entering it. The young man took this as an invitation and undressed himself too before joining him. No words had been exchanged since Credence’s declaration and Percival held him in a tight and silent embrace under the hot water. They didn’t need words at this point, just the comfort of the other’s presence.   
When they were clean and dry, Percival took one of the young man’s hands and led him to his bedroom. They got under the covers together and Percival ended up spooning Credence as if it was completely natural for them.   
They fell asleep quickly, both exhausted after the roller coaster of emotions they’d been through.

* * *

_You’re a sinner, a monster. No wonder they took Modesty away from you. You’ll never be able to take care of her, never! You’ll be punished eventually, don’t even think for a second that you deserve happiness!_

Credence woke up in the middle of the night, panting and crying. Unable to see in the darkness of the room, he felt afraid and disorientated. But then he heard his name spoken in the most reassuring voice he’d ever known.   
‘Credence? Are you okay? Did you have a nightmare?’ 

‘Yes… she was here, she knew…’ the boy answered, trying to catch his breath. 

‘Shhhhh it’s okay, she’s not here, you’re safe.’ 

Percival brought Credence closer and gently put his head on his chest, his hand caressing his hair.   
They remained like this for a while, listening to each other’s breathing, and only when Credence had fallen asleep Percival allowed himself to do the same. 

Percival was woken up again at 6 o'clock by a loud noise. It took a few seconds to realize the noise was the door banging.   
His heart started racing when he noticed he was alone in the bed.

He got up, quickly put on his grey sweatpants and hurried down the stairs. He opened the front door and saw nothing; Credence's bike wasn't there anymore.   
Sighing and a bit dizzy after such a rush of adrenaline, he went to the kitchen and warmed up some left-over coffee from the day before. He sat down at the table, not even touching his cup, and buried his face in his hands. Why had he done this? 

His stomach started rumbling and he finally lifted his head to look at the fridge wondering what he could eat. That's when he saw it, the note stuck to the fridge door.   
He stood up, his legs barely holding him up and took the piece of paper with trembling hands. 

_Dear Percival,_

_I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye, I knew that if I talked to you I wouldn't be able to tell you the things I'm going to write now._  
I love you. You know it, I know it and that’s why it hurts so bad.   
You knew you were my everything, you knew that I trusted you but you still betrayed me, in spite of your promises.   
I know why you did it, and I guess I can forgive you but I can't forget, I don't think I ever will.   
I'm sorry I brought all this unnecessary drama to your life, part of me thinks all I ever did was make your life too complicated.   
I wish we could just buy a caravan and go somewhere far like in this French song we both like… ‘Et nous partons allez viens’  
But this isn't how life works, I finally get it now. We were never meant to be together except in my dreams. I'll cherish the moments you offered me, they were glimpses of what real happiness feels like.   
From now on I'll let you be what you were always supposed to be: my teacher.   
It's going to be hard but I promise I'll behave like nothing ever happened.   
Thank you…  
Love always,   
Credence 

The tears that had been dwelling in Percival's eyes started spilling on the page.   
For a man who usually had problems showing his emotions, he'd done a lot of that in the past days.   
It was over then, truly over.   
He went to the living room and grabbed his phone, he only called in sick when he was unable to teach. And today he felt sicker than ever. Except this was the worst kind of sickness: heartbreak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long! I had a rough couple of weeks ...   
> Hope you liked this chapter! 
> 
> thanks for following this story, it means a lot to me!


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